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Tamar Braxton is eagerly expecting her first child with husband Vincent Herbert and the 36-year-old says she's getting a little help from her family to prepare. The Braxton clan is close knit so it's no surprise that they're all chiming in with tips and advice for the little one's arrival — perhaps a bit too much.
Getting married early, but don’t want to fall pregnant until I complete my education? As I grew up, i never did again it until a year ago. I met a young muslim man, and before we knew it we started engaging in a haram relationship up until now (roughly one year and half). I know abortion is haram but I have no money to raise this child. I have ?240 in my bank account, and no degree, no job. Do niikah with they guy you want to marry and move in with him or vice versa, no one needs to khow about nikkah and keep the baby if anyone deos ask say you were married done nikkah over a year ago, that way everything will look good. It really annoys me that you're telling this sister to not be scared, because she can "just go on benefits and even get an apartment" from the government. I know this young sister said, "please don't scare me" - I don't want to scare her, but it would also be wrong of any one of us to give her false hopes regarding what she should expect from her future. Your reply is to a response to another comment about how the OP can reap government benefits in light of her unplanned baby out of wedlock. The OP has already enlightened us to the fact that she came from an ignorant background and I think indicated that she may have been abused. Here in the UK, many teens have deliberately got pregnant in order to secure a ready made home and funding rather than work for a living.
The comment from Munira made me recoil too, as the tone somewhat seems to lessen the haram misdeed and kind of OK it with the prospect of government freebies. However naive people are, if they want to play in adult matters then take the rough with the smooth and also learn of responsibility.
It's not simply about money, but about taking responsibility for another life, nurturing it and providing a solid home in terms of a family.
Do not worry about money, the father will need to find work, whatever is available as long as it is halal.
You have had a difficult start in life and you have created another difficulty for yourself again.
Allah has blessed you and your partner with the creation of a new life, and the opportunity to establish a Muslim household for your child. While your current social circumstances may pose challenges, these challenges can be overcome inshaAllah, with faith and hard work. I would advise that, if you and your boyfriend wish to enter into a halal relationship as husband and wife, you approach your local masjid with regards arranging a simple nikah ceremony.
With regards your pregnancy, it will be important to arrange pre-natal, birth and post-natal care for your baby, so it would be a good idea to make an appointment to see your GP. I want to first tell you, while you are going through this very stressful time, please do not lose faith in Allah.
I would suggest you speak to someone close to you , maybe a family member or a Muslim counsellor ?
After you have done this, you need to speak to the father of the child and tell him he needs to speak to his family and get married to you. I wish you all the best Sister, please make prayers and just go ahead with making this Halal. Attend your local council services and they will direct you in obtaining accommodation and benefits. Settle down insha Allah, repent and ask for forgiveness as Allah is the most merciful and kind. But sincerely, use this time of difficulty to turn to Allah, increase your imaan and start a fresh islamic life insha Allah. If you were coerced or pressured in some way by someone older then it would have been sexual abuse or statutory rape. Sister Toni, who has two children of her own, has reportedly told her to kick up her feet and relax. Through this month of Ramadan, I wanted to make this halal as we were commiting zina, but we just had to wait until we were finacially ready to do the nikah and move in together.

Is this a blessing or a punishment from Allah? I am only 18, my partner is 20, and we don't have any money to just on survive ourselves. Getting married in secret only digs you into a deeper hole that is harder to fix later when ur family finds out.
First of all, the government's money come from the people in society that actually do work really hard, day in and day out, and pay a god chunk out of their wages to taxes - against their will. Many pregnant women work up until a month till they give birth - so why can't this sister do it? She's been making really bad, reckless decisions in her life that clashes totally with what Islam preaches to us - what's brave about that? Someone is asking you for help , if you cant help then at least don't even bother writing such a huge para wasting your "precious" time too. If we highlight so-called solutions to haram actions it then means that it becomes less of a turn off from committing such sins which it has done for UK girls already. Nevertheless with hardship comes ease and you can only endeavour to support your child in the best way possible so that they do not do the same.
You are definitely no one to taunt her over that again and again rather than giving her any mental support.
There is reference in the Quran to people who felt they had no choice but to end the lives of their children due to hardship - I am afraid I cannot recall the exact wording of the verses, but the message imparted is clear - Trust in Allah to provide, and do not harm your children.
Your local Islamic community may have resources available to help you and your family both practically and emotionally, and if you are still at university, you can speak to your professor or tutor there - the majority of higher education institutes have additional support available for students who either already have children or who become pregnant during the course of their studies - some people take time out, or switch to part-time study, and there are often bursaries available. There are different schools of thought about whether marriage should occur during or after a pregnancy, so it might help to discuss this with your partner and possibly with the imam, to make sure that you agree on an arrangement that you all feel is Islamically appropriate.
They can confirm dates for you and arrange for you and your baby to get the care and help you need. I can only imagine how stressed and lost you may feel but know everything happens for a reason with the Will of Allah.
Acknowledge your mistake and get some support from elder family members and get married ASAP.
Then if you can work rather then relying on state benefits ( I pay a large amount of tax and work very hard for my money ).
You should be aware that girls who were sexually molested tend to exhibit certain common behaviors including promiscuity, substance abuse, eating disorders and self-harming. I will not recieve any support, as my mother is still very ill and I no longer have contact with my father. Can I marry my partner even though I am pregnant (I always wanted to get married; was just waiting for him to become stable)? People who scafrifice time with their own children and their own family to be able to provide for them - and, apparently, for unemployed people who have children outside of marriage when they're not ready for the responsibility by any means' children.
Please don't glorify people who have acted against Islam, we don't need to encourage more brothers and sisters to commit zina in order to obtain "bravery". I'm sorry, I'm not going to watch Muslims act against something that is clearly haram in Islam and say no word about it.
I know of stories where people are stuck in hostels with their babies and in some cases only the woman can be accommodated.
It is unfair to assume you deserve financial aid when you recklessly carried out your actions and you can work till your at least 8 months.
In doing so, maintain and strengthen you faith in Allah, increase your Islamic knowledge and resolve to continue life in a halaal fashion. If you are in a country such as the UK, there are benefits available for people in need, and you could make an appointment through the JobCentre or similar agency to discuss what help you and your family need. And tell your mum - she will be able to give you and your baby a lot of support, love and advice, inshaAllah. You as well need to speak to your parents, I'm not sure of the relationship you have with them but if you are scared or uncomfortable to the point where you can't do it alone have someone you trust and is close to them if possible with you. It seems unfair that people in the UK can claim benefits without ever having paid into the system or people make choices, get into difficulties of their own making and the expect the government to solve the problem. I'm not saying that what happened to you excuses your behavior, but understanding where your own behavior is coming from might help you to heal and change.

He was not Muslim though, he converted on his own (he had prior knowledge of Islam, he grew up around many Muslim families and contemplated converting in his teens). As someone who works really hard - even though I hate working and, too, would love to be on benefits, get a free apartment and my children paid for (when I have some) - and pay almost half of my salary to taxes, it angers me to hear you encourage this girl to "just go on benefits" - because it's going to be people like myself who'll be paying for her illegit child, her free apartment and haram actions. If she lived in a country where social benefits and free apartsments were not an option, she'd have to work no matter how far in to her pregnancy she is.
As Muslims we're OBLIGED to let our fellow Muslims know when they do something wrong, and help them understand what's right. Our prophet Mohammad (pbuh) helped every person With good advice instead of taunting them again and again over what mistakes they did. You say you planned on uni so therefore it's fair to assume you ought to have had the intellect to have been more responsible.
First, of course you know to repent and just keep praying to Allah even if you feel horrible. Now, my honest advice is to maybe keep the pregnancy out of the conversation and tell them there is a man who wants to marry you and you accept. This might allow you to have continued contact with the child until you are ready to raise the child yourself. I know the situation in overwhelming now, but this is what Allah the almighty has prepared for you. It really bothers me that women like her can just make their haram mistakes, and the rest of us have to, literally, pay for them and, on top of it, comfort them and tell them to not be scared.
We need to tell her to find a job and save up for this baby - and encourage her to do whatever she can to convince her boyfriend, the father of her child, to marry her and help her through this huge mistake.
It really bothers me when people have babies and rely on governments for financial support of these illegit babies. Don't forget Allah is the most Merciful and He loves the believer who commits sin then gets guided back on the right track. If they agree, then get Nikkah done RIGHT AWAY then you can bring on the pregnancy after that.
I find it so ridiculous that people are telling her she should not be scared and worried without even giving her exact reasons as to why she should not be scared. If you are working and all you should be sensible enough to help someone just with your words instead of crying over how your money would be used on her "illegal" child. This way, they will feel less embarrassed and can facilitate your marriage without extra stress. Lastly I told my father, we do not have a good relationship--he is an angry and abusive man who would beat me when I was younger. So we get multiple generations of women who mooch off the government to be able to cope with their reckless decisions to have sex before marriage and breed illegit children.
And if you know she is just 18 and she got pregnant then you should also know that teenager do make mistakes , that does NOT mean they deserve to be treated badly .you don't know her background , family problems pr anything , how can you just assume and speak like that? If for any reason they refuse due to dull reasons, speak to an Immam who can help you convince your Wali or can act as your Wali. Money is not just going to fall down from the sky - this girl needs to get a job and make some for her baby. I see it happen so much in the country I live in - where single mothers who have babies before marriage, without having the means to take care of the babies, get everything sorted out for them by the government.
He even wanted me to abort my baby, but I had to tell them abortion is not allowed and I wouldn't have done it anyways. Meanwhile, people with cancer can't get their treatments at hospital, because the government has no money to spend on them - because it spends peoples' taxes on healthy people who are more than capable to work, but use excuses not to do it - like, "I'm 4 weeks pregnant, sorry, can't lift a finger in a couple of years". My family called me and my baby every bad name you could think of, but like I said I'm used to it.

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