HEMISPHERESMAGAZINE.COM
•
NOVEMBER 2013
19
TheoccasionistheU.K.’sfirsteverRedhead
Festival, a day-long shindig for those blessed
with a variation in the MC1R gene. (About
two percent of the world’s population has it,
thoughthenumberismuchhigherintheU.K.)
Soon, the cinnamon-bearded Alan Hayes
takestothestage,twirlinghisorangecapeand
ge ingthe“ginger-lovingmadness”underway.
Hayes is known as the King
of the Redheads, a title
bestowed upon him
last year at the Irish
Redhead Conven-
tion in County Cork.
“Little did my dad
know when he used
to tease me, saying
I’d been le out in the
MANCHESTER, ENGLAND
PAINTING THE TOWN RED
AU.K. festival celebrates a
much-malignedminority
Beneath a high industrial ceiling at the old
Printworks entertainment complex in Man-
chester,England,asmallgroupofpeoplecircle
a stage. It’s midmorning, and the assembled
are dancing awkwardly to an uncomfortably
loud sound systemplaying songs by the likes
of Ed Sheeran and Florence + the Machine.
While the casual observer could be forgiven
for failing to recognize that all of the music
being played here today is performed by
peoplewith redhair, it’dbe a lot harder tomiss
thefactthatthoselisteningareallgingerstoo.
rain,” Hayes bellows, “that I would eventually
become rusty royalty!”
Attendees represent many shades of
ginger-headedness: flame-haired rockers,
russet-lockedvintage darlings, copper-topped
kids. They watch as King Alan announces
the day’s events, which include appearances
by a redheaded motivational speaker and a
redheaded magician.
At the end of the day, the
celebrants collect goody
bags containing SPF 50
sunscreen and shuffle
past a slideshow that flits
reassuringly to the quote:
“A face without freckles is
like a night without stars.”
—HANNAH STUART-LEACH
Iquitos, Peru •
An eclectic group of world
travelers sits around a dinner table on
an Amazonian riverboat heading out
of Iquitos, Peru. With the jungle foliage
crowding in and the air thick withmois-
ture, the somewhat lubricatedpassengers
begin reminiscing about the places
they’ve been, the things they’ve seen.
At one point, talk turns to mountain
excursions and the adventures therein.
Two men say they’ve been to the top
of Tanzania’s Kilimanjaro; one has
climbed Aconcagua in Argentina.
The prominence of the world’s tallest
summits is then debated, which in
turn prompts themore general question
of what is the highest point each person
has ever reached.
The Englishman at the end of the
table, who’s been nursing his beer all
evening and saying very li le, suddenly
looks up from his mug and responds, in
all seriousness: “Haight Ashbury, 1968.”
—JAMES DORSEY
LOS ANGELES
Steve is a 40-something software
engineer who’s balding and a little
overweight. He wears a polo shirt,
khakis and boating shoes as he sidles
up to the bar at Lure, a glitzy club off
Sunset Boulevard that occasionally
hosts canoodling celebs and offers
bottle service that can run up to a
thousand bucks. Needless to say,
Steve doesn’t fit in all that well, so
it helps that he’s here with Todd, an
athletic, good-looking and tirelessly
gregarious 31-year-old. Steve has
handed over $400 to hang out with
him tonight—or, more accurately, to
be seen hanging out with him.
An aspiring actor, Todd, 31, side-
lines as a professional wingman—or
buddy-for-hire—cour-
tesy of a local agency
that provides such
services. The idea is
that, with a charis-
matic friend in tow, men find it easier
to meet women. It is, apparently, a
growing industry.
“I’m a Midwestern boy living in
L.A.,” Steve explains. “I’m not a film
director and I’m hardly gifted in the
looks department, so I need all the
help I can get.” This is the second
time he’s used Todd as a wingman.
The first time, he says, he secured
dates with two “stunning” women.
Tonight seems to be going OK too.
Todd quickly puts his talents to work,
approaching a pair of dark-haired
beauties at the bar and offering to
buy them a drink (courtesy of Steve).
The women accept.
At the end of the night, Steve
leaves with three telephone numbers.
Todd, for his part, has the satisfaction
of another flawless performance.
“It really is the perfect job for an
actor,” he says. “You play a role and
use your looks to help a guy out with
the ladies. Everybody wins.”
—CRAIG STEPHENS
WINGING IT
SOMETIMESMEETINGWOMEN IS JUST ABOUT
HIRING THE RIGHT BUDDY
ALTITUDE ADJUSTMENT
THE COMIC POTENTIAL OF TOPOGRAPHICAL CONFUSION
DISPATCHES
