H
S H A H I N T A K E S O F F
106
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AMERICANWAY
DECEMBER 1 2008
ILLUSTRATIONBYAMANDADUFFY
things.
If ever there were a year that the Grinch
might steal Christmas, this is it. But I want
to put to rest the rumors circulating on the
Internet: There is noway that the Grinch, or
anything else, will prevent me from making
my rounds again this holiday.
You can take that to the bank. (A
functioning one, of course.)
Speaking of finances, you probably know
that the difficulties in the broader economy
posed a few challenges toNorth Pole 99705,
as we jokingly refer to our environs. (And
let me just say, what with the melting ice
caps, that our once snowbound community
is lookingmore andmore like the beaches of
Beverly Hills, 90210 every day. So we don’t
laughquite as hardaswe used toat our little
joke.)
Anyway, the good news is that despite
what youmay have heard, none of the elves’
quarters or reindeer stables or Mrs. Claus’s
andmy house ended up in foreclosure.
Meanwhile, yes, like everyone else, we
were hit with rising costs. That, in turn, led
us, as you’ve probably read on various blogs,
to renegotiate contractswith the elves.
I would not be completely forthright if
I didn’t acknowledge that the negotiations
weren’texactly jolly.But intheend,
we reached an agreement that
streamlines operations, increases
productivity, and ensures the
long-term prosperity of Santa’s
Village and its inhabitants.
Inotherwords, it’sall good. Or
aswe like to say around here, it’s
all festive.
Another challenge for us this
year was the rising cost of fuel. Fuel?
youask. I thought the sleighwaspowered
by reindeer.
True— it is. Because of that, the sleigh is
environmentally sound; we’re proud to say
that our annual trip around the planet leaves
no carbon footprint.
However, the fuel I am talking about is
reindeer food: grasses and lichens.
The same rise in food prices affecting the
rest of theworld is affecting the North Pole.
But if there is anything good that comes
of global warming, it is that the warmer
temperatures allowmore grass to grow. So
rest assured, the reindeer are well fed and
chompin’ at the bit, as it were, for the big
night.
Donner and Blitzen, especially, are playing
their reindeer games with even more gusto
than usual. They are even letting Rudolph
play. In keeping with the general economic
situation, we enacted some bonus incentives,
and I think thatmay have helped renew their
vigor.
As forMrs. Claus, she has been baking up
a storm, as you can imagine. She has also
become more active in community affairs
and may run for local office. I wouldn’t be
surprised if she ended up on a national ticket
someday (ho, ho, ho).
This is a joyous time. Regardless of any
difficulties we all may have faced, we will
again have awonderful holiday season.
And even as the elves work feverishly,
building iPhones and Guitar Hero games, I
want to say that it’s possible everyone may
not get everything they want. As I sit with
mypipe in front of thefire, contemplating the
meaning of this time of year, it occurs tome
that the Grinch himself unwittingly taught
me that a holiday “without packages, boxes
or bags” couldbe agood thing:
“Hepuzzledandpuzzled ’tillhispuzzlerwas
sore.ThentheGrinchthoughtofsomethinghe
hadn’t before.What if Christmas, he thought,
doesn’tcome fromastore.What ifChristmas,
perhaps, means a little bitmore.”*
Well, that’s about it from here. I’ve got to
get crackin’.
Withgood cheer to all,
Santa
By JimShahin
HO, HO, HO
,MerrrryChristmas:
Well, boys and girls, I hope you’ve been
good for goodness’ sake. Because it’s that
time of year again.
Time to lube up the ole sleigh.
Time to put the finishing touches on the
little tin horns, little toy drums, rooty-toot-
toots, and rummy-tum-tums (a little Santa
lingo there).
Time to, more than anything else, make
a list, check it twice, find out who’s been
naughty or nice.
As always this time of year, life here in
Santa’s Village is busy, busy, busy. Before
thingsget reallycrazy, I thought Iwould take
amoment to let you knowwhat’s been going
on in theClaus household this year.
First, let me say, I am sorry about the
mass e-mail. The economy has forced us to
put new efficiency measures into place, and
I’m justnot sure Iwill beable toanswerall of
your notes left in/near stockings hung by the
chimneywith care.
You can bet, though, that I will devour
yourmuch-appreciatedmilk and cookies!
In addition to efficiency, I thought this
year might require something a little more
expansive from me, so I can explain a few
Season’sGreetings
fromSanta
*From
How theGrinchStoleChristmas!
byDr.
Seuss
