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It's a huge honor to be a maid of honor or a bridesmaid, and you'll experience many fantastic moments as a member of the bride's VIP circle.
Dilemma #1: You're asked to pay for a bridesmaids dress you can't afford, and everyone else seems fine with the price, so you don't want to rock the boat. When the bride shows you a few dress "finalists" to choose from, ask if you can speak with her privately. What to say: "These bridesmaid dresses are all very pretty, but they're more expensive than what I can afford. Don't be afraid to speak up: You may regret it if you don't, especially if you find out afterwards that all of the other bridesmaids thought the price was outrageous, too, but no one was brave enough to say anything! Dilemma #2: You're asked to help pay for the bridal shower, and the requested amount for your contribution is much higher than what you expected. What to say: "(Insert bride's name here) deserves an amazing bridal shower, but I can't afford to contribute (insert $X amount here) for (insert restaurant name here). Dilemma #3: The other bridesmaids have their heart set on a girls' getaway, but it's simply not within your means right now.
If it's the bride's wish to plan a girls' getaway to Vegas, don't panic just yet: resorts have group packages that can be very affordable, and discount travel sites can turn up low-priced airfare.
Dilemma #4: You're being asked for your opinion way too often, and you don't know how to handle the endless barrage of text and email chains. Before you get upset, consider that the maid of honor is responsible for including everyone.
What to say: "You're working really hard on the wedding and doing a great job of including us all. Dilemma #5: The maid of honor or other bridesmaids never include you in the wedding-planning process. Dilemma #6: You or another bridesmaid tries to run the show, so you end up stepping on the maid of honor or bride's toes. If you're the bride or maid of honor: "I know that you have good intentions, but I'm starting to get some complaints from the other bridesmaids, and having to tell them you're really a sweet person.
If you're the bridesmaid: If you're the recipient of this "talk," don't fight back with excuses or complaints about how nothing would get done without you. Dilemma #7: You or another bridesmaid is an "outsider" who's having trouble fitting into the bride's social circle. Dilemma #8: The bride wants one thing for the shower, but her mom wants something completely different, so you're stuck in the middle.
When moms are included in the bridal shower plans, they often help save the bridesmaids money--that's one perk to keep in mind if she's being a royal pain in the you-know-what. Your primary loyalty is to the bride, though, so when her mother pushes for something that's completely different from what the bride wants, take a deep breath, be calm and confident, and tell her the bride's wishes that were relayed to you. Don't complain to the bride about her mom's pushiness unless she truly acts out, like calling the caterer to change the menu that you and the other bridesmaids already set.
Dilemma #9: The bride is so preoccupied with the wedding that she never asks you what's going on in your life. If the bride is obsessed about the wedding plans, or she's in the blissed-out early phase, that topic owns 99.9% of her brain right now. This should make the bride realize that she's been too "all about me" not just with you, but probably with other people, too. Dilemma #10: The bride can never make up her mind about what she wants, and it's affecting the bridesmaids' plans. It sounds like the bride is overwhelmed by too many options and she doesn't want to make any mistakes that she'll regret.
If she's still leaving things until the last minute: Gently remind her that the bridesmaids can't start on their tasks and fulfill them well if they're waiting and rushing around for her to make up her mind.
When she finally decides on something, tell her to stop looking at Pinterest wedding images from that category! However, with so many different tasks to complete, purchases to make, and personalities to deal with, bridesmaids may have to solve some etiquette challenges before they can pop those champagne corks. Here, smart solutions to your toughest questions (that you've always secretly wished you could ask!). I want to be sure I have enough funds to help throw a fantastic bridal shower for you as well. If you hear back from the bride that your new dress options are welcome, get it done right away so that the bride doesn't get anxious about this task taking too long.
The bridesmaids may see it as a worthwhile deal, so they don't have to spend their weekends slaving over party plans and DIY projects.
Check out all of the details and do diligent research before saying "yay" or "nay." In addition to travel and lodging, you'll need to factor in bar tabs, celebratory dinners, and other expenses, which can add up.
For example, a boutique bed-and-breakfast nearby would give you the same bonding time, and you'd be able to spend more on activities, like a fine dinner, winery tour, or shopping. Maybe she was previously a bridesmaid who had a steamroller MOH to answer to, and she vowed never to be that way.


If you keep getting nos, then you'll have to accept that the MOH isn't going to share the tasks. Or, if you all live far apart, create a private Facebook group and have everyone share five fun facts about themselves. For example, if you're a relative of the groom's and you don't want to attend the bachelorette party because male dancers will be there, suggest that the group take the bride out for dinner first, so that you can attend that portion and then bow out later, with no pressure about "bailing" on the bridesmaids. Some moms latch on to the shower because they're not as involved in the wedding plans as they'd like to be, or maybe they're just very enthusiastic by nature.
While you want to spare the bride the embarrassment, her mom is more likely to take "no" for an answer if it's coming from her, not from someone she doesn't know that well.
If you start to tell her about a problem you're having or a great thing that happened at work, she just starts talking about her day again. The wedding is on her mind, and when someone is laser-focused on something, this is what happens. For example, if she's working on centerpieces, she can include that she hates greenery, bright pops of color, etc.
When she hears that her stall tactics are stressing everyone out, she may work harder to make decisions in a timely manner. This was my first pregnancy and Kelly helped supply my husband and I with information so we could formulate our birth preferences. Or, can we possibly plan a brunch instead of dinner, to help cut down on costs?" Don't go into detail about all of your financial crutches, especially any upcoming vacations, because no one will sympathize with you when you have a big Aruba trip coming up. This makes you a valuable member of their team, rather than a complainer who doesn't want to pitch in. Remind yourself that you're lucky to get asked for your opinion when so many other bridesmaids are just told what to do.
Would it be possible to plan an in-person meeting with the rest of the girls to go over everything? No pouting, no refusing to share ideas if they're not going to be heard, and no causing drama--even if your feelings are hurt. Discovering shared interests--watching the same TV shows, training for a half-marathon--can give them things to talk about with one another. This will give her a sense of accomplishment and help her get over that initial hurdle of where to start. If her messages are coming in way too frequently, or she expects an answer during inopportune times (e.g. Even though I wore undergarments, I felt naked in front of this older man with the bushy mustache and thick glasses. He told me to stand up and bend down and reach for my toes as he examined my back for scoliosis. All the paperwork and information she gave was very helpful for making informed decisions and preparing for a natural labor.
The aromatherapy, prenatal massage and DVDs she gave me were just a great bonus to the info. I covered my deformed right hand, which looked like a puppy's paw, with my left hand and looked down at the floor. People with Moebius can't do things like smile, blink, raise their eyebrows, or pucker their lips.
Kelly walked around my neighborhood with me in the middle of the night to help progress labor!
I also have a club foot and webbed toes.I couldn't be breast fed when I was a baby because I wasn't able to suck properly. Afterwards she stayed until I was comfortable and came for a very pleasant postpartum visit. She knew that coming to see me after I was settled at home, after the first week was important.
Even when I was a baby, I didn't let Moebius hold me back.As I grew up, the name-calling was brutal. She gave me my placenta encapsulated and it was the only thing that naturally kept my energy up and allowed me to not be so anxious. Kids called me names like "Captain Hook" and "One-Handed Bandit." They would also tell me to smile and then laugh when I couldn't do it. I was a stubborn, determined child, insisting I could do everything the other kids could do.
I learned how to rollerblade, even though my balance wasn't that good because of my club foot. Kelly was a wealth of knowledge for my husband and I's first everything when it came to having our little Synthia!
Kelly has experienced it all and is so comfortable to talk with that none of our questions went unanswered. That's how I showed people I was happy, through giggles and gleaming eyes instead of grins.


Not even the questions that may be a bit embarrassing to discuss with even your closest friends. When I was 10 years old, my family heard about a girl in California who had the very first smile surgery. She helps you understand the pros and cons of both hospital and home births so that you can make a decision that you feel comfortable with and are able to stand up for. Throughout the pregnancy Kelly was 100% available to us, she answered questions, gave us resources and was so encouraging and supportive when I started to question my ability. My labor started and she was exactly what we needed to have the baby without any interventions. To my shock and displeasure, the medicine was only a sedative and didn't numb my face at all.
I did have some nerve in my face and felt a sharp prick as the needle was shoved in near my jaw. I cannot begin to tell you how amazing she is!A  Our situation was unique and different than most being that I was in labor for 3 days. I was deathly afraid of needles before, and after that experience, I wanted nothing more to do with the smile surgery.A few years went by and as I matured, I decided to revisit the idea of having the smile surgery.
When I was 15 years old, I flew to California and a well-known doctor performed my surgery.
We wanted to find someone in the south-metro who could help us have as natural of a birth as possible (no medicationss, or unnecessary procedures).A  Our first impression of Kelly was that she was very kind, calm, and soothing, and very knowledgeable about pregnancy, birth and post-partum care. A blood clot developed in my face, and I was rushed into emergency surgery because the swelling was about to block my breathing passage. I could call her anytime with questions.A  A Closer to my due date, she provided me with much-needed encouragement to let the birth happen naturally and avoid an unnecessaryA induction. As we went past my due date, she was there to help us through, teaching my husband massage techniques, and providing us with essential oils.A A  A When I went into labor, Kelly proved to be a total rockstar. She was available for me 100% while I was laboring at home, answering all my questions over the phone. It took a month or two for the nerve and muscle to start working, so after my surgeries my family and I anxiously awaited my first smile. She came to our house when I needed her, and then accompanied us to the hospital when I was ready to go. She was completely prepared with music, aromatherapy oils, battery-operated candles, and snacks for my hubby.
When I stood face to face with my aunt and smiled at her for the first time, she smiled back and asked me why I was staring at her.
With her encouragement, we got the birth we wanted and it was beautiful.A  A I would completely recommend Kelly to anyone. She was so used to naturally smiling back at people that it took her a few seconds to realize what was happening.
We met with Kelly Martin for the first time and were blown away by not only her professionalism but her ability to connect with us as a couple expecting our first child.A  Kelly gave us all of the information we could have ever wanted, or needed in regards to pregnancy and birth.
We had specific needs for information and she obtained it for us and taught it to us.A  A Kelly offered herself to us as an in-home Childbirth Educator. She came to us weekly and was so very devoted to us as a couple and new parents.A  A I had to be induced, so when we arrived in the hospital to get ready for the birth, the nursing staff and Midwives were taken aback by our knowledge of the processes.
I still get a thrill when I'm walking down the street and someone passes by and smiles at me, and I'm able to smile back. I knew what to expect at every step.A  Kelly Empowered us as parents with the knowledge and confidence to start parenting before our son even arrived. She was well equipped with a full suitcase of things to aid in our labor experience, like aroma-therapy oils, flameless candles, and etc. August 8 2015 Official 2015 Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day Page Our 2014-2015 Moebiuis Syndrome Family Holiday HeroesGallery 2 Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day 2015 Video Gallery Smiling with our Hearts upon the World! I covered my deformed right hand, which looked like a puppy's paw, with my left hand and looked down at the floor.
People with Moebius can't do things like smile, blink, raise their eyebrows, or pucker their lips. I learned how to rollerblade, even though my balance wasn't that good because of my club foot. That's how I showed people I was happy, through giggles and gleaming eyes instead of grins. To my shock and displeasure, the medicine was only a sedative and didn't numb my face at all. Tears streamed from my grandfather's gentle eyes when I smiled at him for the first time.




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