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30 years ago, my birthplan was radical, in that I knew I did NOT wish to give birth in a hospital and I searched for and found a local midwife who helped me birth at home.
Thinking about these kinds of  details for a birth plan beforehand is hard, because with our first baby we do not yet know what to expect. No matter what type of birth a woman chooses, she deserves to be treated with RESPECT, with HONOUR and CONFIDENCE in her ancient ability to give birth to new life.
In Fact,we were able to facilitate all these requests, except the request that Jason(her husband) catch the baby, because the baby was born at 4am in the caul and Claire brought her up out of the water herself!! Jason cut the cord and Hannah latched onto the breast within the first 30 minutes after the birth. Enter your email address to subscribe to Spiritual Birth and receive email notifications of new articles.
For some years now I have been providing special sessions to women who find themselves pregnant when they do not wish to be. This approach enables the spirit of the unborn child to consciously participate in the abortion decision. With every spiritual abortion session, the child's spirit brings a message of learning to the mother and father. This is an important statement made by a much-loved midwife and is based on research conducted by John Bowlby, Marshal Klaus, Lloyd De Mause, Dr Arthur Janov, Allan N. Conversely, a baby whose mother is happy,  well prepared for her labour, allows her labour to progress with confidence and courage and gives birth spontaneously, without drugs or pain relief, ensures that her baby is biologically primed for adaptation and social responsiveness after birth. During most caesarian sections, a newborn baby is separated at birth from his mother, sometimes for hours, even days.
Caesarian section, while absolutely necessary as a life-saving intervention in medical emergencies, is a violent operation for both mother and baby. Trauma, loss and separation must be avoided as far as possible during pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period.  When trauma and loss occur the effects can be mitigated through ensuring reflective and caring social support and encouraging skin-to- skin contact between mother and baby as soon as possible after birth. Having said all this, it is important to remember that attachment and bonding are flexible.
To conclude, a  society that respects women and their role in childbearing respects the baby. As a midwife and mother, I agree with the idea that normal, physiological birth is desirable whenever and wherever possible. The human species is hardwired for love and attachment and it’s actually quite difficult to destroy that instinct; if it were so easily disrupted, the species would have died out long ago! All should be done to revere in this marvelous occasion of birth and to promote bonding for sure, but human bonding is not accomplished in an instance.
The human universe would begin becoming much more mentally, emtionally, and psychically healthier if people ceased giving birth to their babies in hospitals. Not sure i agree with your comment – I think hospitals have their place and many of my clients have wonderful gentle births in hospital with a midwife. We read pregnancy magazines with frontal spreads of glamorous model moms full of glowing advice and beautiful outcomes(that gorgeous woman in skin-tight tops with a spotless baby smiling at the camera).
Her Mom, Claire, had sent me explicit wishes for the birth and we made a point of familiarising ourselves with her birth plan.
The Dad had skin to skin time with Hannah before Emily came home after sunrise and met her new sister! In many instances, this message involves the importance of nurturing and caring for one's own inner child. The incidence of breastfeeding difficulties between mother and baby rises sharply when a woman has an epidural or elective caesarian section.
The psychobiological structures of the baby’s brain are highly susceptible to imprints and experiences from conception to 2yrs old, and no less at the time of birth. Women who are unsupported socially experience high stress levels and this is turn affects the fetus.
Major abdominal surgery is a shock to the mother’s body and is monitored carefully by an anaesthetist for the duration of the operation, and post operatively for several hours.
Pregnant women need to be surrounded by loving people, need to be supported and helped when they experience stressful circumstances, and need to be allowed and encouraged to give birth without disturbances and unnecessary interventions.  Labour is a normal, physiological and biological process and works well for 85% of women. When a woman is well supported and loved, she is able to bond with her baby deeply in the pregnancy and the attachment between them will be minimally affected if there is a traumatic intervention such as an emergency caesarian section or separation of the baby.
A society that reveres natural birth and encourages women to approach birth with confidence and love accentuates and underscores her capabilities as a mother and gives her the best possible start to mothering and communication with the baby. I have to say, however, that I have become increasingly skeptical of the notion, overplayed, in my view, by our midwifery community, that what happens at birth and in the immediate postpartum has the most decisive effect on maternal-infant bonding. We need to give our mothers and their babies, far more credit for being able to find one another, even in the worst storms while doing what we can to keep those storms at bay. It is clear you were closely bonded to your daughter prenatally and that you both seemed to understand the necessity of the temporary separation. While it is true that difficult experiences can leave lasting neurologically based patterns in us, it is also true that we are incredibly plastic and resilient. I see babies in my practice who are suffering from what might be described as post traumatic stress symptoms, such as sleep difficulties, feeding difficulties, fussiness, colic, frequent and prolonged crying. Yes, you are right, I did experience birth trauma and relationship trauma during my childhood and yes, my experiences have shaped my choices and desire to succeed in the work I do as a midwife and Aware Parenting Consultant. I suppose my need and the drive to discover myself and why my history is so painful has led me to the answers in the hope of making it better for other men and women to be more conscious and thereby help the babies they bring into the world!!

Then, when we present our birthplans to our obstetricians, we cannot understand why they don’t seem to be paying serious attention. I include Claire’s Birth Plan below to show the kinds of issues that need to be thought about, the questions you need to ask yourself before the birth. I believe that we are spirit and that we have come into the physical realm for learning and experience. The basis for the spiritual abortion process comes from the belief that when you enter the physical realm as a baby, your body is small and needs to be taken care of, but your soul may be old and full of wisdom. Women who are questioning whether or not to have a child can contact and support their child within. It is also cumbersome for the mother to handle her baby confidently, because she is in pain from the uterine and abdominal scar. The baby is pushed out of the womb, within a few minutes, into a brightly lit, noisy environment and roughly wiped by strangers before being whisked off for an examination and injections by the pediatrician and nurses. The baby should not be separated from the mother for at least the first hour after birth, even more so when a caesarian section is medically necessary,- babies can be handed to the mother in theatre and kept warm next to her body.  Effort should  be made to refrain from administering drugs and epidurals, as these negatively affect the baby and subsequent breastfeeding and attachment processes. Many mothers vigilate next to the incubator when their babies are ill and in need of medical care, and sustain the attachment in small ways that assist with later recovery of closeness. This confidence in turn helps protect the baby’s developing brain from assault and neurological deficits. God for bid should we need to, but recovering from traumatic experiences is possible (especially because it is not all together avoidable). Of course, you are right, babies and children can recover from traumatic experiences and we are amazingly resilient and plastic. However in retrospect, when the midwife vigorously bathed my baby son as if he were a naughty boy found playing in the mud, I wished she hadn’t .
If this is so, then why not communicate with the spirit of the unborn child and let it know that this is not right timing? If this is true for a baby then it is also true for the unborn child, the one just beginning to develop a physical body inside of the womb that holds it. A dissociated and unresponsive baby will also be unable to elicit responses from the mother by being aware and opening his eyes, touching the mother with his hands and responding to her voice. This means loss and separation for the baby and an overwhelming sensory experience that, if prolonged, could have adverse influences on limbic system brain reponses. Instead, giving women tools and information that will empower them such as Antenatal workshops, Birth Preparation Classes, Assistance of Doulas during labour, Midwife Assistance at Birth, Homebirth, Gentle Birth, Water Birth are all vehicles that teach the parents how to protect the integrity of the baby-mother dyad.
I think culture and education also help women to overcome disruptions in the bonding process. And yes, I agree, this is what life is about, an ongoing rediscovery of each other, you put it so well!
I also daily listen to mothers who have unwittingly been guided towards having an elective caesarian section and suffer pain postnatally, feelings of loss, postnatal depression and unresponsiveness towards their babies, all of which impacts on attachment behaviours. These early interactions lay the foundation for social communication patterns and early personality development. This in turn may result in  lack of responsiveness from the mother, leading to problems in communication within  the mother-infant dyad and possible developmental delays in the growing baby. How do we prevent fetal and neonatal  trauma, separation and loss experiences around the birth process? Every effort should be made to treat women giving birth with reverence and respect, providing guidance and encouragement and the right environment for birth. The spirit of an unborn child is filled with wisdom and always has a powerful lesson to share with the mother and father. It is possible to facilitate kangaroo mother care in theatre and minimize separation of the family members.
One of the most common issues between parents and children is the desire of the parent to control the child and mold the child into what the parent wants. In animal research ( rats, sheep), when labour is interfered with, mothers reject their young; for example, when a ewe is given an epidural or chloroform, this ewe will ignore her offspring after birth.
When a human being is stressed for long periods of time, the body produces a steroid hormone called cortisol.
The skin to skin contact elicits the release of oxytocin for both mother and infant and assists the bonding process, mitigating the effects of surgical birth. As we become more reflective about ourselves and our behaviours, we are able to be better parents. And it is not the only intervention or factor that might traumatize and negatively affect a mother-infant dyad. When the child (who desires to find a healthy, independent identity) rebels, the pain and separation that result are often blamed on the child. It is essential for the survival of the young of any species that a mother is attached and motivated to care for her progeny. High levels of cortisol in the body eventually damage organs and healthy body functions.We also know that high levels of cortisol for long periods of time damage the cells in the hippocampal region of the brain, shown to be part of the emotional centre of the brain. I also agree with you that healing is possible and this is part of the work I do with mothers and babies.
This necessity is an imperative in human beings, because our offspring are helpless and dependent on our care for survival for approximately 13-18 years.
In animal research, the death of cells in the hippocampal region of the brain leads to aggressive behaviour and less socially co-operative behaviour.

I help them to reconnect when there has been a traumatic event and their communication systems need re-establishing. There is a longing to return to this ancient wisdom of the Goddess.a€?a€?Spiritual Hypnotherapy makes it possible for the mother to connect with the spirit of the unborn child and together they agree upon a natural miscarriage. Human babies do not walk or swim like other mammals straight after birth; it will be at least a year before a human baby will toddle teeteringly on his two legs!
Learning occurs from conception, through infancy and on into adulthood and lays down our neuro-architecture in the early years especially. As you say, it is not possible to always prevent traumatic events and experiences, yet is is better to prevent them in the very young and at critical periods of growth and development as far as possible. Of the women I have worked with several have naturally miscarried shortly after their sessions while others have needed to have clinical abortions. In place of a functional, supportive parent who encourages the child to individuate, we find a dysfunctional parent who controls, either subtly or overtly, to have his or her own needs fulfilled by the child. When we experience neglect and abuse, we become hard-wired to act out our displaced feelings on the world around us. When women have clinical abortions scheduled just following their session and they follow through with the abortion, it is impossible to know whether or not the process would have occurred naturally.
My belief is that as more women become aware of this option, it will become easier for them to have natural abortions, and that it will become easier for women to consciously choose when to become pregnant. Some of the most common lessons the spirit comes to teach are about healing the inner child, bringing forth creative energy, empowering the self, healing relationship issues and healing from past abortions or miscarriages so that the mother may choose a healthy new pregnancy. When I first began doing this work I felt that if the miscarriage did not happen naturally, the process did not work. Sometimes the connection between the woman and the unborn child runs very deep and the mother experiences feelings of great love and pain in letting go. I now understand that everyone woman has her own process to go through and sometimes that process includes a clinical abortion. A right choice in our lives can bring feelings of loss, grief or loneliness and still be the right choice for us.
Whether or not miscarriage occurs as a result of this process, the process is always powerful.
For example, leaving an abusive relationship can bring up many painful feelings and still be the best, healthy choice for us.
The mother heals emotionally from guilt, fear, grief, self-hate or whatever emotions she is carrying.a€?a€?Spiritual Hypnotherapy is extremely valuable for both actual abortion and healing from miscarriage. When an abortion or miscarriage takes place and there no spiritual healing involved, feelings such as grief, guilt, anger, and fear may become stuck in the body.
Naturopathic physicians have told me that many women who have ovarian cancer, cysts, fibroid tumors, abnormal bleeding and other female problems have experienced an abortion or miscarriage at sometime in their lives. In our modern medical environment a hysterectomy is often offered as the cure.a€?a€?The womb is the center of the feminine body.
It is the birthing center of creativity, but the beauty of this is little recognized in our society. In this country, women commonly hear, a€?You're not going to have any more childrena€? or, a€?You're past the childbearing age, so let's do a hysterectomy.a€? What message does this give to a woman?
I think the message that a woman receives is that her creative worth, (the womb being the center of creativity), is defined by bearing children.
I bring attention to this because claiming personal power and creativity has been the major issue with several of my clients. Childbearing can be a good camouflage for those who are afraid to look into themselves and face the fears, doubts and inadequacies that keep their expression of personal creative force at a distance. Of course, these women are not aware that they are masking something until they take that journey within the self.a€?a€?Men also hold unresolved feelings in their bodies. With respect to childbearing issues, I'm not certain where in the body men hold this energy.
In the case of miscarriage a man might feel that he was not powerful, potent, or manly enough to save the baby. In abortion, it might be that the man feels that he did something wrong, that it was his fault and he doesn't deserve to have what he wants.
If you are a man who has had an experience with miscarriage or abortion, take a moment to close your eyes and imagine the experience.
Feel your feelings around this issue and notice where they live in your body.a€?a€?Spiritual Hypnosis allows the woman to go deep within the womb to explore core beliefs and judgments held by her as well as by women throughout the fabric of time, past and present.
Many women who perceive themselves to be independent, strong, and freethinking have been appalled to find such beliefs lurking in their innermost psyche. It is amazing to see how core beliefs that we are consciously unaware of, or thought we had let go of, determine what we attract into our lives. Through the Spiritual Hypnotherapy process, these hidden elements come to the surface where they can be healed and released.

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