I’m pretty sure that no matter what you do, no one gets through the toddler years without much wailing and gnashing of teeth. I’ve learned that in order to respond properly, I need to learn to tolerate a little crying.
The people who can’t stand a child crying seem to either give in, go overboard trying to fix it, or lose their temper. Those critical looks that non-parents are giving you in the grocery store line because they have no idea what it’s like to try to buy the groceries you desperately need for a week while your two year old is screaming to buy the strawberry shortcake paper doll that some cruel shopper carelessly left in the checkout line? It is really hard to take your child’s tears seriously when she is screaming like a banshee because she got a red balloon instead of a pink one. They’re like a colicky baby, only louder and bigger, and with the added fun of feet kicking at your face and little teeth biting your arm. And then you wake up one day and you don’t have a baby anymore, you have a toddler who cannot be made happy no matter what you do.
Anastasia was eating a popsicle (organic and local, of course — yay King of Pops!), and the last bite of popsicle fell on the floor.


It’s counterintuitive, but when you acknowledge and encourage the emotion your child is experiencing, they can move through it faster. I’ll let him rage in his room if I have to (and sometimes I have to, to protect the little one!). Doesn’t it always help to know that there’s someone in the world who understands how you feel?
If you get mad when your toddler is mad, the emotional level in the room will rise so fast it might set your house on fire. If you said no to something and then your child starts screaming, you cannot give in and say yes.
You should feel sorry for them, because in a few years when they have kids, they will have to contend not only with other people’s judgmental looks but also with their own guilt for having done that to you. And imagine feeling these extreme emotions, but with limited verbal skills, and a very small scope of life experience to help you put them in perspective. But it just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that would teach healthy emotional strategies in the long-term.


He loses his temper with his toys sometimes, so I had to teach him to bring them to me and ask for help. And I know the experts are right on this, because don’t we all know adults who still throw tantrums?
Because even though whatever is upsetting your child is actually not a big deal, to her right now it is a big deal.
She will follow you around hitting you, pulling your hair, and trying to climb up your body so she can gnash her teeth in your face.



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