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admin | frugal living tips and ideas | 10.02.2016
Recently, while attending a fashion show fundraiser, I came across a wellness poster that really spoke to me and I thought it would fit in easily with my blog. Self-acceptance is about being OK with all aspects of who you are and not feeling the need to change anything in your life.
If you are having trouble with this concept of self-acceptance, as many of us do, there are several exercises you can do in your daily life.
When I first started Jazzercising back in 1998, I quickly learned to bring a bottle of water to each class. Spirituality is hard to define in a quick paragraph but in my mind, being spiritual is having a belief in an invisible energy that surrounds and permeates through every living thing in the entire universe. Having that sense of adventure, taking calculated risks, stepping out of your comfort zone, facing challenges head on, braving stormy weather and reaching out into the great unknown, build confidence.
Much of the field of mental health seems intent on understanding self-image problems in terms of low self-esteem. My first mentor, Albert Ellis, the founder of rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), pointed out that self-esteem doesn’t work very well because it is based on the conditional philosophy, “I like myself because I do well and I am approved by others” and, conversely, “I dislike myself because I do not do well and I am disapproved by others.” This philosophy might work fine if one were always successful and always approved of by others. However, problems arise when we escalate our healthy desires for success and approval into absolute demands.
The key to a healthy self-image is self-acceptance, not self-esteem, because we are all imperfect and therefore cannot always do well and win the approval of other people. This is a major insight, but perhaps the greatest insight of all is that insight is not enough to change long-held patterns. Self-acceptance can also help individuals develop a capacity for healthier love relationships. Self-acceptance is one of our most difficult challenges, no matter how much meditation or therapy we’ve tried.
In this FREE online video event series, Tami Simon speaks with several contemporary luminaries in the fields of spirituality, psychology, and creativity. Self-acceptance is an important first step to real progress toward a healthy weight, says Roni who call this the chicken egg problem of weight loss. Most people believe that once they hit an ideal body weight, size or shape they will find happiness. Rony says, that desire to be “skinny” led her down dangerous paths of dieting that, in essence, made her fatter becasue she found hereself in the classic yo-yo cycle of hell. She says that the first step to a healthier YOU is self-acceptance and having a good talk with yourself. Instead of doing unhealthy things just to reach desired weight, you should focus on making good choices that will lead you to a healthy balanced life.
Laugh Away Calories Smile…Life is too short for anything less. Gotta Hustle to Get the Muscle You want to lose weight, get fit and healthy once and for all? On Friday I received an email from a friend asking for some support on a project she’s launching.
A few minutes went by and two of the other people on the email chain responded with very short but to the point emails.
It wasn’t but a few short seconds later that my brain started going crazy with thoughts! I knew the answer would be found in the meaning I was applying to the other email responses. Through all my personal work (and it will never stop) I have managed to weed out most of my False Beliefs. I don’t know who the original artist of the poster is, otherwise I would give her credit.

Often times people forget about their strengths or talents and at the same time deny or ignore the parts of themselves they don’t like. Thalassotherapy uses the mineral-rich supplies from Poseidon’s playground — salt, seaweed, mud and, of course, water — to create healing treatments that help relieve stress, smooth skin, stimulate circulation and eliminate toxins from the body. I think taking a bubble bath at home, with some candles and some music for added ambiance, is one of the nicest things you can do for yourself.
Well, when Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492, do you think he had a clue about where he was headed and what he was up against and how long it would take him to see land again? Significant people in our lives, who have also adopted the demand for success and approval that is ubiquitous in our culture, explicitly and implicitly teach us these ideas. The song “You’re Nobody ‘Til Somebody Loves You” sends the erroneous message that self-worth is contingent on love from other people.
And you’re still likely to feel anxious even when you succeed so long as you are demanding approval and success because there is always the chance you might fail. Self-acceptance can help reduce self-defeating anxiety, guilt, shame, shyness, avoidance of social situations, procrastination, and other self-defeating emotions and behaviors.
Much of psychology has erroneously taught us that the past as well as present-day events are mainly responsible for our feelings. While there is value in rating our traits, qualities, and performances, self-acceptance means not assigning a global rating to the one’s self.
We often hear the adage, “You can’t love someone until you learn to love yourself.” By applying the principle of self-acceptance to other people, we can learn to reduce anger and blaming.
In this FREE video event series, Tami Simon speaks with contemporary luminaries in spirituality, psychology, and creativity to learn how we can truly embrace who we are. It seems all too easy to fall into the trap of judging ourselves as inadequate, finding fault with our achievements or our bodies, and believing our self-critical inner voices that insist we’ll never measure up to who we ought to be.
Together they explore theSelf-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship to myself.
But the need to be thinner can cause an unhealthy relationship with food or exercise and the decisions you start to make become about losing weight, not about making healthy choices and being the best person you can be.
Facing fears about your body is an important step towards self-acceptance and self-acceptance is an important step on your weight loss (healthy) journey. It was a group email sent out to several other people, whom I didn’t really know, and me. We’re all conditioned to some extent or another and that conditioning is either based on our False Beliefs or our Inherent Nature. You can see imbalance manifest as acne on your skin, a bad hair day, insomnia or illness to name just a few on the tip of the iceberg. But seeing the whole picture — sunlight and shadows — will help you live the life of your dreams. If you take time to take care of yourself, like getting your hair done or polishing your nails or giving yourself a facial every now and then, you’ll manage the rest of your life that much better. A spiritual person tries to connect with that energy through prayer, meditation and contemplation etc., to enrich their life and find deeper meaning in their existence.
In the absence of those who have taught us these harmful messages, we indoctrinate ourselves through a process of self-learning whereby we internalize these beliefs and attach them to countless events in our lives.
Albert Ellis used to tell me that if the Martians came to earth and saw us humans, imperfect by nature, demanding perfection, they would die laughing. So, how does one go about working toward self-acceptance when our culture seems intent on boosting self-esteem?
Although these factors may play a role, it is largely our thinking about external events that contribute to our feelings. This is especially true when it comes to changing the philosophy of self-esteem to self-acceptance.

I even questioned if I should write about it for fear that you would think I’m a nut job too! So, why would these responses, which had nothing to do with me, spark all these thoughts and feelings?
A False Belief I carried most of my life was that I was not good enough and the need for acceptance was very strong for me.
We either automagically (Thanks Steve Jobs) respond to see life wearing our FB Glasses or wearing our IQ Glasses. I was aware of how I responded to those emails and I was aware of what I was thinking and feeling.
Now that I am though I can take steps to literally change how I respond to life in the future.
But I do think he had confidence and a vision and a faith that everything would work out for the best.
Nevertheless, humans not only rationally prefer success and approval but irrationally demand it. We get along better in life when we do well and are approved by important people in our lives, such as parents, relatives, friends, and teachers. However, I wanted to do my due diligence by first asking a few (ok, maybe like 10) questions.
Every now and then that False Belief pops back up and I need to remind myself that it’s bullshit. Now I need to willfully and intentionally remind myself that I am good enough and that I am acceptable as I am. If you can see a positive outcome from the beginning, than you’re already halfway there in my book.
From my clinical experience, however, increasing self-esteem is a temporary solution because it perpetuates the underlying problem: an irrational philosophy of self-rating.
If you are making decisions purely based on the desire to be thin you may be making unhealthy decisions like limiting certain healthy foods, starving yourself or even going down the route of purging.
I need to acknowledge that my spiritual journey, my journey to self-acceptance is not one of perfection but one of progress.
These things may make you thinner in the short term but they aren’t healthy and in essence you are setting yourself up to fail. Perhaps it happens so often we can’t distinguish between a healthy emotional response and one filled with a bit of charge like this one.
In any case, having a passion for something is one of life’s great gifts and I urge you to pursue your passions with zeal and fervour. So, let’s forget the goal setting for a second and accept who we are at this very moment and realize that fear is terrible and we should seriously let it go. Others tend to see things negatively, thinking that if they get their hopes up, the bubble will burst and things won’t work out and they will be left feeling worse than they would have otherwise. Take a moment to picture some gentle waves curling along a sandy beach, in and out, in and out, and then follow the rhythm. You may not have control over everything that happens in your life, but you do have the power to choose your attitude in every given moment.

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