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admin | inner peace quotes | 02.11.2015
Maybe, the ideal life you envisioned isn’t coming to fruition, or perhaps, life’s curveballs have set you down an unexpected path. The biggest challenge in dealing with self-doubt and a loss of confidence is mustering up the strength and courage to turn back into your proud, stunning self.
But after having conversations with wiser, more experienced folks and learning more about myself, I’ve realized the key to becoming the best version of ourselves begins with learning who we are, and then taking the right steps to get there.
Your values are your “why,” and they stem from the combination of your upbringing, social groups, education, media and societal norms or standards. Without understanding my core beliefs, it was easy to just be with someone and have little to no explanation as to why things didn’t work out. Whether it’s religion, money, integrity, social responsibility, love, family or innovation, knowing your values can help you better understand why you love what you love, why you get along with certain people and not others, and what will make you happy. When you can define and articulate your values, you know what you’re willing to compromise and what your deal-breakers are in your friendships, relationships and careers. The truth is you are worth much more than you think, and you are capable of doing what you want.
A couple of years ago, I was turned down from a career opportunity and the rejection affected me more than I’m willing to admit. I wouldn’t be honest if I said my attitude magically turned a new leaf because of this conversation. Similar to your values and mission in life, the idea of success varies from person to person, and it sits on a foundation of your values. It’s easy to be hung up on a goal or success you set for yourself years ago, but as you experience what’s out there, you’ll find that your friends will change; the world around you will change, and you will change. Life will force you to adapt, so there’s nothing wrong with making modifications to your vision of success. When I was in college, success meant being as far away from home as possible, owning my own condo by age 28 and being a kickass marketing manager at a huge tech company.
Today, success means scheduling and spending quality time with my family and friends, saving X amount for my dream condo each month, being a kickass marketing manager at a startup and having a positive impact on my community. Life has taught me that getting what I want takes time, and it’s okay if my vision of success evolves. To step out of the self-doubt rut and onto the path to your best self, you need to do just that: Take the first step. When you know your values and how you interpret them, write them down and communicate them.
Remind yourself every single day what it is you love about yourself, and make it a point to place yourself in situations where that part of you shines.
When you’re thinking about qualities you might not be too fond of, accept those qualities and know we all have quirks and bad habits. Rebuilding your confidence and understanding yourself are not easy tasks because they require discipline and time.
Going from a lack of confidence to a healthy amount is a process that requires change, a principle that is not always easy to implement and to accept. But if it’s something you want badly enough, taking the steps to self-awareness will help you achieve the best version of yourself. Based out of San Francisco, California, Belyn is a UC Irvine alum, self-proclaimed foodie, and pianist. Almost everyone has times when they worry that their skills or products aren’t good enough.


Whether it’s fear that a competitor’s product is better than yours, doubt that you can get your clients the results you want to promise them, or worry that you just don’t have the talent or experience to charge the prices you want to charge, these concerns can undermine your confidence in your business and yourself.
And when you aren’t confident in the value of your products and expertise, your potential clients or employers won’t be, either. Fortunately, you don’t have to be a victim of these fears, and they don’t have to prevent you from creating success.
One of the things I did to alleviate that was creating a list of all the topics on which I can help my clients. So if you feel like you don’t know enough to really stand out as an expert in your industry, list all your topics of expertise, as well as the subtopics that add depth and thoroughness to that knowledge.
When you can see all your topics in black and white, complete with all the subtopics within those topics, you’ll be surprised to realize just how wide and deep you pool of knowledge already is. The point of this step isn’t to make comparisons, or to feel like you’re better than anyone else. When you know something well, it can be easy to feel like everyone else also knows it, and you have nothing to offer them that they don’t already have. By noticing what you know that they don’t, you reaffirm the value and uniqueness of your expertise, and identify the gaps in their lives that your wisdom can fill. Sometimes, when you have a specific goal in mind, it can be easy to miss or forget all the little victories you achieved along the way.
So today, try writing down all the areas in which you’ve been working to improve, and noticing any progress you’ve made since you started out.
Maybe you aren’t enrolling as high a percentage of your potential clients as you’d hoped for, but are you making more calls, and enrolling more people, than you used to? Part of the secret to maintaining your confidence and motivation is to notice all the little wins that build up to the big ones you’re aiming for. You may not be inspiring as many people as Tony Robbins, but how many people have you helped in the last year? What changes did you make in their lives, and by extension, in the lives of the people around them? If you aren’t sure, try following up with some of your past clients and asking them how their life is going.
And if they haven’t applied them, maybe this is an opportunity for you to explore their situation, see if they need some additional help from you, and re-enroll them as clients.
You don’t have to know it all, or to have achieved all the success you desire before you can help people. Indeed, the fact that you aren’t miles ahead of them in your personal journey can actually help you to create a better connection with some of your clients. Did one of these tips help you to increase your confidence in your expertise and yourself? Which did you find the most helpful? I look forward to reading your comments.
Stephanie O’Brien is a copywriter, marketing coach, entrepreneur, novelist, and self-growth addict. Jose Mourinho's men have looked a shadow of the side that won the league title by a comfortable eight-point margin last season and have only lost fewer games that the three sides that occupy the relegation places. Chelsea will be hoping to secure a morale-boosting win when they host Norwich City, who are one place above them in the table, when the league resumes after the international break on Saturday. Whatever it is, these thoughts of self-doubt can cause the sparkle in your bright eyes to fade, and it can make you lose sight of the good in yourself. They are the foundation of your beliefs; they empower the thoughts you have and the actions you take.


Values don’t change often, but they can evolve over time, as you continue to learn more about the world and meet people from different walks of life. Up until that point, I dated quite a bit, and a lot of these people were the worst. Every once in a while, I’d land a decent human being, but collectively, my dating pool had no pattern or unifying theme. Someone who values money might focus on luxury and the finer things in life, while someone else who shares that value may want to use money philanthropically.
It means being honest when identifying what you love about yourself, and what you want to work on. Every individual has a purpose, but the best part is you have a say in what you want your purpose and impact to be. Your purpose stays with you through the long- and short-term.
There may be hundreds of obstacles in your way, but they are microscopic in comparison to the hurdle you place in front of yourself. Well, American Social Psychologist Amy Cudder says, “Fake it until you become it.” So far, it’s worked for me, and it can work for you, too. If there’s something or someone who is toxic to your values, find ways to slowly remove yourself from such poisons. And if that isn’t enough, remember that the greatest things are always worth fighting for. I had plenty of training, but not much practical experience, so I had little confidence in my ability to create results.
When I did that, I was surprised to realize just how much I already knew about marketing, business success and product creation. It’s to help you to recognize how you can help people in ways in which they can’t help themselves, and to realize how special your level of knowledge really is. This can leave you feeling discouraged, believing that you’ve made no progress even though you’ve been improving by leaps and bounds. The phrase “count your blessings” isn’t just an old cliche – it’s a vital success secret, so use it regularly. How is the value of your offering demonstrated by the effect that it’s had on your clients?
You’ve been where they are more recently than the titans in your industry, and they can identify with you more because you seem more like them. Start where you are, continue to improve and grow in your field, and trust that it will be enough.
She specializes in helping people to connect with their clients in an authentic way that builds trust and inspires clients to take action.
Readers are asked to limit their feedback to a maximum of 1000 characters (roughly 50 words). It also helps you to understand how the people who matter most to you perceive who you are and your potential. It’s what you want your existence to mean to the people around you, or to the entire world.
And being the stubborn person I am, I know how simple it is to convince yourself there’s nothing out there for you.
To learn more about her, and to discover how to attract more clients with ease and confidence, visit Coach Client Connection.



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