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admin | inner peace quotes | 02.12.2015
During this past year, I served as a liaison between my fraternity and a 17-year-old cancer patient in a local hospital through the Adopt-a-Family program.
This feeling climaxed during “Family Hour” of Rutgers University Dance Marathon (a 32-hour, student-run event that raised over $442,000 for families that have children with cancer and blood disorders). I couldn’t bear to hear her thank us for all the wonderful things she said we had done when I felt deep down that I was a bad person! I literally could not touch my friends who had been standing next to me because I might have contaminated them with the disease that was my poor character. And then a strange thing happened: I realized that not only was I not going to forget Josh, but that I would never make the same mistake again. In an instant, I had forgiven myself, letting go of the pain and accepting that I could still be a good person even if I made a serious mistake. Realize, right now, that there is a very big difference between doing a bad thing and being a bad person. You didn’t do something bad because you are a fundamentally bad person; there was an intent, or valid motivation, behind your action. It might sound silly, but you should give this entity a name, which will reinforce the idea that this voice is separate from you. During your “conversation” I want you to ask your internal, critical voice what its positive intention is.
When you realize that your thoughts of guilt or shame are intended for your benefit, it becomes easier to forgive yourself. In my case, one of the positive intentions of my internal voice constantly shaming me was to help me remember Josh after he passed. Not forgiving yourself is like picking at an open wound; you are only making a bad situation worse.
If you forgive yourself when you make a mistake, it’s easier to address the consequences of your action in a productive way. About Michael DavidsonMichael Davidson has written for over a year about finding happiness and health. Forgiving ourselves is tough, not ever judging ourselves in the first place is a great place to be too! What if the person you hurt hasnt forgave you, and is constantly reminding you of the hurt you caused them, making it that much harder to forgive yourself? I think in that case it’s best to focus on #1 and 2, accepting yourself and realizing that you are not a bad person. Don’t you think if we want to see our internal voice as a separate entity, then it would have to be depersonalized so that we can realize that its that voice speaking, and not to be identified with that. WHEN I THINK OF SOME OF MY PAST JUDGEMENT, IT IS CLEAR HOW MY SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS CAUSED ME SPIRITUAL HARM. WHEN I THINK OF SOME OF MY PAST JUDGEMENTS, IT IS CLEAR HOW MY SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS CAUSED MY SPIRITUAL HARM. I look back and realize that I was in a bad relationship and I am trying to also accept the responsibility of letting myself be in a controlling verbally abusive relationship. I could go on and on but just an outlet for people who don’t know me and my situation feels a bit freeing. This is very good advice, although, i can not forgive myself for the things that I have done. If you had criminal charges pressed against you and a felony record, that means you were already punished and did your time, so you don’t have to keep punishing yourself. About a year and a half ago, I went to NYC to meet a close friend of mine on a school trip. The act of forgiveness is one of the hardest yet  most profound actions a human being can take.
Over the years  I unfortunately  developed  a great deal of resentment towards many people I loved, particularly my brother. For the longest time, I thought that forgiving my brother would make everything right; I thought that by forgiving him our problems would magically disappear. As I began to forgive myself for my past faults, forgiving my brother slowly became much easier. Depending on how much hurt you have suffered in a particular relationship, this can and most likely will, take some time. Look you can’t change what has happened to you, you and I both know that, but what you can change is how you look at your past events. I soon realized however, that if our relationship were to ever exist in a peaceful state, I would first have to accept our past.

If you choose to forgo the path of forgiveness you are essentially choosing a path of misery. The only thing we need to live a happy life is a happy mind, a mind that can love and forgive. I feel that sometimes we fall into the trap of believing that forgiving has to lead to reconciliation.
I can see from your above post that you have forgiven and you have seen that forgiveness accelerated your growth. My belief that I was a fundamentally good person was shattered; how could I be so neglectful?
I was standing in the rafters, listening to a speech by the mother of one of the families that we had helped.
Flashing before my eyes, I saw all the opportunities I had to visit Josh in the hospital but had chosen not to.
Even when you do something that you regret, you most likely had a valid reason for doing it at the time (even if that reason doesn’t make rational sense). Imagine that there is some other entity that is thinking your self-critical thoughts and have a conversation with them.
You can find another way to satisfy that positive intent while reducing your guilty feelings. Since forgiving myself, I have dedicated each of my yoga sessions to Josh, which ensures that he will not be forgotten. Despite the challenge, emotionally healthy people must have the capacity to forgive themselves when they have made a mistake. The wound is already there, but you do have control over your reaction to it, and you can stop it from getting worse. I recently went through a brief moment when I did realise that it was my mistake and that I had hurt someone bad. Accepting yourself has a trickle down effect because you can express yourself more genuinely to others. I know that its not right of this person its just emotionally abusing and the guilt and shame is building up. It’s tough to put it into practice, but you just have to not let them control your relationship with yourself. It is astounding how much guilt can ruin a person – emotionally, spiritually, and physical. My grandmother passed away on Christmas and I’m still struggling with guilt for having ignored her and gotten frustrated with her dementia.
I’ve known him for about 5 years, and we had tried dating long-distance back within the first year of our friendship. Then you can truly let go of that part of your life, and he will respect you for having grown so much stronger with the ability to admit what you did. Essentially been neglecting a subject in school to the point where it was just ridiculous, I disappointed the teacher and things still haven’t been resolved.
We have been taken advantage of,  ridiculed, and had our good hearts  put to the test, and because of this we often find it difficult to forgive. For as long as I can remember my brother and I  never got along, often fighting, stabbing each other  with insults that would make Satan cringe. How can you expect to forgive someone else when you can’t even forgive your own faults and shortcomings? However, what I did not realize was the solution had nothing to do with my brother, it had to do with me. I was upset that despite being the oldest, I still resulted in throwing shallow insults at my brother. I’m not suggesting that you have to recall hurtful periods of time and smile about them, but rather simply acknowledge that they have occurred and move on. I would blow out of proportion some of the hurtful things he said to me in order to justify my less than admirable actions towards him. Forgiving can be challenging, but forgiveness is essential in living life to your fullest potential.
The sad thing is  we are naturally made to be  happy, but our social conditioning tends to make us believe other wise.
After going back and reading some of your past posts I can better relate to these amazing words. I hope that this forgiveness gives you power to open doors and step into new, and inspiring circumstances.

As flawed as you may be, you must accept yourself, flaws and all, if you are to make progress in your life. A friend will often point out a reason why you deserve to forgive yourself that you never would have seen. Knowing that other people are less critical of you then you are of yourself can be encouraging. It might be to protect you, to prevent you from making the same mistake again, or to help you improve in some way.
If you personalize your inner voice, that means you are giving it , it’s own idenity.
I work the overnight at a house for people with developmental disabilities and I’m also a full time student.
Unfortunately, even though the relationship fell apart, I’d never gotten over the feelings I had for him. After hanging out all day, and my second friend periodically asking if I was okay, I finally told him what’d happened over dinner that evening. Trying not to think about the idea of failing it, but also it’s really hard overcoming the guilt and shame.
The fact that my relationship with my brother was such a miserable failure, truly bothered me. Obviously we still have our moments, but our respect for one other has increased dramatically. In regards to my relationship with my brother, I often had a difficult time accepting the past. One of the greatest reasons we are miserable is because we subconsciously believe that suffering is necessary .We amplify the hurt long after the initial act has taken place.
I read a book on forgiveness last year and this was the biggest big idea I got from the topic of forgiveness.
We are humans and therefore we are imperfect so we do not have the right to not forgive because we all commit mistakes, some more then others but there mistakes at last. Between classes and work, I’ve just been really exhausted and my body has been aching.
We have had a great reaction and pouring out of people that want to get things off of their chest. Not just from the fact that I essentially screwed the guy over for nearly the whole year with my lack of initiative and work, but he was one of the best and most genuine teachers I had and I took it for granted.
I loved him, and he loved me, yet for some reason we could never coexist in a brotherly manner. This post was more about band-aids you can apply in the short term while becoming less judgmental in the long term.
To cut a long story short I was going through a nervous breakdown and at some point within that my boyfriend left me.
I would talk about this friend of mine to him with increasing frequency and somewhat alarming admiration. Not just for the kiss in NYC, but for not acknowledging how I felt and putting an end to my feelings for my friend years before. Without realizing it, I let laundry slide and a few nights I neglected to change a woman that I support because I was sleeping.
I was the epitome of crazy ex: phoning, texting, emailing, accusing him of all sorts of bizarre things. I put my boyfriend and my friend through months and years of ridiculousness, and it came to a head because I wanted to go through with what *I* wanted… So, yeah. Every night before I went to bed, I would tell myself “ forgive him“ and everyday our relationship would continue to get worse.
In the morning, I couldn’t finish the shower routine and get her dressed because I was physically exhausted. I’m going to start seeking out professional help to really get this out of my system, among other things.

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Comments »

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