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admin | inner peace quotes | 27.11.2015
Simply because it determines how much you achieve in life and because it has a major impact on your happiness. It's as if life is a zero sum game: every achievement that raises one person's self-esteem diminishes another's - if they see not being "top" or "first" as failure.
We make no effort to protect our children from the loss of confidence that can result from being forced to take part in sports or classes for which they have no aptitude. A lack of confidence, or being under-confident, will prevent a person taking risks, from accepting new challenges, from stretching themselves beyond their existing comfort zone. On the other hand, over-confidence can lead to failure: a person may not prepare for an event and then perform badly. There's a circle of success here, of course: success breeds confidence, confidence builds success.
Furthermore, your assessment of success shouldn't be on the basis of whether or not you "won", it should be on the basis of whether or not you achieved or exceeded your personal goals.
Over-confidence can be just as damaging - following the lead of someone who does not have your best interests at heart, or who has an overstated opinion of your abilities can set you up for massive failure and then a devastating loss of confidence. Have you ever noticed that confident people do better at work, achieve more and tend to be more popular?
Speaking to you as someone who knows just how great a difference increased confidence makes to peoplea€™s lives, this could be one of the most important messages you have ever read.
And as you consider all this, and really imagine how good this would feel, doesn't it just make sense to take action now to make this your day-to-day reality.
Imagine being in your future, and being your confident self predictably, on demand, when you want to be, and from this time looking back on your coaching sessions with me with joy, and realising that reading this and calling Sky High Confidence on the right number for you, above, was the start of something new and exciting in your life.
This is a huge problem in my field of mental health—equating arrogance and self-destructive behaviors with high self-esteem. A person with high self-esteem greatly respects him or herself (that’s what “esteem” means). The primary error with narcissists or arrogant people is they feel they must be right all the time or there’s something wrong with them. The arrogant person, criminal, and racist do not esteem themselves (at any level), which is why they evade, deny, lie, reject, and twist facts—to avoid this realization. An “example of Bob Smith’s arrogance came when he took his 12-year-old grandson and another adult up in his plane for a late afternoon flight over the Rockies. This example is certainly illustrative of arrogance; however, it’s not an example of high self-esteem (or any self-esteem). In the example, Bob Smith rejects the air traffic controller’s warning, without reason, and crashes the plane as a result. A person with high self-esteem (let’s call her Amelia) would’ve handled this situation much differently.
This 77-page essential guide to overcoming insomnia is jam-packed with scientifically proven techniques, tools, and skills for improving sleep, managing worrisome thoughts, and putting insomnia to bed for good. With the stock market just below its all-time closing high, investors and traders want to know what's next. Deutsche Bank's David Bianco thinks the S&P 500 is likely to slip to 1,675 by the end of this year before surging to 1,850 by the end of 2014.


Unfortunately, there seems to be a deep urge in us all to compete, whether that's in the field of sport, or intellectual achievement, or some other area of human endeavor. If they're indifferent to success in that field, then it's unlikely to affect their confidence or self-esteem.
If a child is forced to take part in sports against their desires - which of course no adult would ever be forced to do then the constant sense of failure may lead to loss or lack of self-confidence as the child's sense of failure and the resultant lack of self-esteem is constantly reinforced. Or they may over-estimate their skill or knowledge in a particular field and then fail to perform adequately. But there needs to be an element of reality in that process - high self-confidence comes from a realistic assessment of your chances of success, followed by a performance that matches or exceeds your expectations. You'll be unwilling to take risks, and you may find that you blame yourself when the fault is not yours.
A good coach will recognize the real skills and abilities of his or her pupils and set their expectations to match. See yourself producing better results and feeling more fulfilled in your work, your relationships and your life. Have you noticed how when you are feeling confident you also get more done, do things better and get along with people more successfully? After all is said and done, the average person in the western world is alive for just 27,000 days. Self-esteem, essentially, is confidence in one’s ability to think, make choices, and act on those choices, as well as feeling deserving of happiness and benefiting from one’s hard work and accomplishments.  Above all, it means valuing the facts of reality and reason to guide one’s life over the course of many years. Arrogant people act as if they know everything, and anything that contradicts what they believe is either evaded or rejected out of hand. This is a huge error, as no matter how smart we are, we can make mistakes in our thinking or actions.
Criminals (falsely) believe they can obtain self-esteem by exploiting, deceiving, assaulting, or taking advantage of others. They try to make themselves feel better than others based on non-essential physical characteristics— such as skin color or nationality. People with high-self esteem rarely (if ever) evade facts or rational advice because they know reality is their survival tool and means of achieving and maintaining happiness.
Coming back into a small airport south of Denver just after dark, Smith was told by the tower operator that he was coming in too low and needed to increase his altitude. Unfortunately, professionals in my field often equate high-self esteem with things like arrogance or narcissism, when these concepts are completely antithetical.
What makes this arrogant (or just plain stupid) is Bob doesn’t consider the advice of a professional whose expertise is guiding pilots safely to the ground. Amelia would have gathered all the data she needed to make a safe landing, including checking her instruments, using her vision, and checking in with the air traffic controller for guidance. A person can’t have too much reason, knowledge, logic, acceptance of reality and of one’s limitations, or self-respect.
Steve Orma is a licensed CBT clinical psychologist, productivity coach, recognized mental health expert, and specialist in the treatment of anxiety, stress, and insomnia.
I say "unfortunately" because the rewards of being first among equals can only go to one person - and the others may then experience a reduction in self-esteem and self-confidence.


The practical side of this equation is having a good knowledge of what you're doing, skills that complement your level of attainment and knowledge, and the physical fitness required to actually perform. One useful way of overcoming these problems is to use visualization techniques to reframe the way you see yourself and your abilities. Because lack of confidence and self-esteem a€“ whether in specific situations or just generally a€“ causes you to fall short of your potential, feel bad when you dona€™t actually need to, and miss out on much of the richness life has to offer you.
The psychology of confidence is an extraordinary combination of cutting-edge psychological techniques which are based on the principle that all behaviour has a structure which can be identified, learned and changed, with remarkable results. It is not for people who are looking for a magic bullet (though results are often achieved extraordinarily fast). They’re not interested in facts that contradict what they feel or want to be true, because that would be admitting (in their minds) they aren’t as good or worthy as the person who knows something they don’t. The healthy person knows this and doesn’t let a lapse in knowledge or a mistake threaten his self-esteem. When they get away with it, they feel “good” about themselves because they’ve put something over on others, and they feel “superior” as a result. While we consider these early signs of acceleration less than definitive, particularly given remaining uncertainty related to the interaction of FX and commodity prices with tapering and rising yields, we switch our Next 5%+ S&P price move to Uncertain from Down. Thus, markets most easily attract investors when not too cheap with uncertainty only a bit elevated. And that is closely related to the discrepancy between your self-image (how you see yourself) and your ideal self (how you would ideally like to be). How much difference would it make to you if the situations or people or tasks which currently hold you back become things you can take in your stride, or even look forward to? In fact, he embraces facts, whether those facts come from himself or someone else, because he knows that knowledge will help him in his life. He evades vital information that would have helped him land safely, and instead, he crashes the plane and kills himself and two passengers. Amelia, being a person who respects herself and the lives of her passengers, would never ignore advice from a controller, because she knows it could lead to a serious accident.
The danger with equating arrogance, criminality, and racism with “high” self-esteem, is to corrupt the concept of self-esteem. We are still in a€?realistic and disciplineda€? territory, but on the verge of reaching a€?complacency.a€? The PE is normal but the VIX is lower than normal.
A higher PE on justifiably higher growth expectations would be preferable to us than any further climb in the PE from investors simply being more confident in prevailing growth expectations. This complacency signal may pertain more to the derivatives market than the equity market, more akin to the situation in 2007 than 1999. We think the market is still likely to climb over time, but probably in a more volatile fashion with a higher avg.



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