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admin | to meditate in silence | 24.08.2014
I belong to various Birthmother Support groups on Facebook and I have been bothered by something recently.
Now maybe I am jaded, but the way I read into this is that they believe it is up to them to find a path to heal from relinquishment.
It’s bad enough that the adoption industry is still promoting that somehow it is OK to relinquish a baby to adoption and that the long term effects of relinquishment on birthmothers does not exists despite all the scientific research to the quandary.
By putting the onus on the birthmother to heal, there is a whole new crop of mothers coming thorough with some kind of weird checklist of healing activities and searching for the Holy Grail of Adoption Peace.
As I sit here, writing now, it is the day before Max’s birthday and I am struggling with the residual emotions. I am completely  reliving the horror of knowing that I relinquished my baby and a simple signature changed my whole life.
You learn to accept the grief when it comes and you learn to ride the waves of birthmother  grief and hopefully not drown. You mourn the loss of your baby and their childhood and the relationship that you could have had. You maybe, if you are lucky, learn to forgive yourself for thinking that adoption was a good idea.
Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. Tagged Adoption Feelings, Adoption Mythology, Ethical Adoption, Life After You Give Your Baby Away for Adoption, Making an Adoption Plan, Motherhood, Mothers Considering Adoption.


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Sadly, there are always brand new birthmothers joining and they are so happy to have a place to come to for advice. I don’t care if she has a great relationship with the most wonderful adoptive parents in their whole universe. You can tell me that not everyone feel like I do, but I have already drank the Kool Aide and spit it out. Like really, I am crawling out of my skin , annoyed,  irritated, and really need to just cry. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. Marc and Jan Viafora of MOUNTAIN DOVE CHIROPRACTIC in Sedona, Arizona offer gentle Chiropractic, relief for allergies and chronic disorders with the Bax Aura Laser Technology, Acupuncture, Cold Laser Therapy, NET- Neuroemotional Technique, EFT- Emotional Freedom Technique, and Healing Intensives for out-of-towners. WE HAVE GIVEN CREDIT WHEN WE KNOW THE SOURCE, AND WILL GLADLY GIVE DUE CREDIT IN AREAS WHERE WE MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN THE SOURCE. And the problem is that she can do all these things that are recommended, but chances are she is still NOT going to feel much better!
I am very aware of my adoption feelings and yet, I am still, over six months later, shocked at the depth of the emotions that came forth when I had to leave that kitten behind in the SPCA in April and it triggered a major adoption breakdown. Of course, and I think only other birthmothers can relate to this, the fear is if I start crying I will NOT be able to stop.


The truth is that what a birthmother feels the day she leaves the hospital and on that first night that she cries herself to sleep will be with her to the end of her days.
Yet, I fear telling a new birthmother these things less she is so distressed by the lack of hope….
It is the quality of the energy that determines the quality of experience, and IF YOU WANT TO TRANSFORM THE QUALITY OF YOUR EXPERIENCE, TRANSFORM THE QUALITY OF THE ENERGY BEING BROUGHT TO THE EXPERIENCE.
Need I remind you that my adoption experience was really NOT bad, but rather was actually exactly how domestic infant adoption was supposed to go down in 1987? And underneath it is still as raw and horrible as it was the day you walked away with empty arms. She is going to think that there is something wrong with her that she cannot get past the pain and grief. And if I could really ignore this all and focus on something pretty like rainbows and butterflies to make this feeling GO AWAY I would, but I cannot. There is a constant  mental, emotional and willful battle happening right now to keep the cover on it all and NOT act like I am losing my mind.
We wrap it carefully and try not to bump into things like rough corners that make it bleed and ooze.



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