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admin | to meditate in silence | 24.08.2014
Before we talk about how to get over a break up, you can understand from the introduction that the only solution to getting over a break up is to confront the problem.
You have broken up, and you really need to deal with the break up whether you like it or not.
Confronting your problem would definitely not heal you, but at least it would get you into terms with the circumstances and this is what you would need the most at a time like this, even more than picking flaws or bitching about your ex with your friends. You may have had a perfect relationship until the day it all came crashing down, and you aren’t able to come to terms with it even now.
Do the things that you haven’t been able to do while you were seeing your ex, watch the movies that you had missed, listen to your type of music, and hang out in places you always wanted to be in.
Pin it up on a wall or carry the list with you, so you can look at it each time you hit the pits.
When you reach your destination, you would probably remember the journey you embarked upon, one step at a time, and you would be happy to have made it this far, out of reach of all the pain that consumed you for so long. You may learn how to get over a break up, and your wound will heal, but the scar would remain, just a distant memory of someone special who parted ways in a manner that you could not bear. But this is when you smile to yourself and bask in that warm thought, that as hard as it may seem, you can come to terms with your break up and know how to get over a break up. So you’re here because you’re looking for advice on how to get over an ex boyfriend? Well, before you can get over him, you need to learn the #1 mistake that keeps most women from getting over an ex boyfriend.
Over the past couple of years that I’ve been helping people get over an ex, one of the things that I’ve kept seeing over and over again is just how long a lot of us tend to hold on to the relationship, even after the break up. When we remember how great the relationship was in the beginning, a part of us wants to believe that one day we’ll be able to experience that “feeling” again. Now of course, a certain element of hope is necessary in order to make a relationship work. See, we can use it to give ourselves the strength and courage we need to persist through the tough times and grow even closer together or we can use it to delude ourselves. You acknowledge that there are issues in your relationship, perhaps you even bring it up to your partner one day. Months pass and you still find yourself bumping your head up against the same issues over and over again.
We tell ourselves that it’s not that bad, we try to convince ourselves that things are getting better. In other words, you do anything you can to try to cover up your dissatisfaction and you fool yourself into complacency. Being in a relationship that you know is not right for you is not only exhausting and emotionally draining but it’s also very frustrating.
However, at some point, you have to accept what’s been right in front of your eyes the whole time: that no matter how hard you try, the pieces won’t fit.
And the only thing I hate to see more than two people hurting themselves by trying to put things back together is when one person has clearly moved on… while the other person is still holding on. In fact, last week I got an email from a woman who got dumped 3 years ago and she was still struggling to get over her ex-boyfriend. See, if you truly want to get over your ex, you have to avoid having any hope of you two getting back together. You know, it’s that voice that creeps up and says, “maybe what we really need is just some time apart.
It keeps you living in a constant state of inner conflict because a part of you will be like “okay, I’m done with them” while another part of you is still holding on to the hope of getting back together.
And what’s ultimately going to happen is you’re going to end up feeling stuck because you haven’t truly accepted that the relationship is over and you haven’t given yourself the opportunity to actually grieve the loss. Closure is absolutely essential if you want to get over your ex and move on with your life. One of the things that really helped me was repeating this simple little affirmation out loud to myself over and over again anytime I thought about the possibility of getting back together. The second and most important is to let you know that I have found good solid advise as a man whom was married for 35 years and did not know or understand how to move from my ex-wife after 35 long hard working what I thought were enjoyable and rewarding years! I want to let you know that your online information and guidance is not just for unmarried relationships! After being in relationship with her for 1o years,she broke up with me,I did everything possible to bring her back but all was in vain, I wanted her back so much because of the love I have for her, I begged her with everything, I made promises but she refused. Till then and (after that too), this is MY life and its too short to waste it over anyone but myself. I was with a guy for 7months and he never labelled what we were but was alot like a boyfriend . Getting over a break up is a painful process and getting angry, frustrated and confused is all part of that process.
In fact, you can actually speed up the recovery process by allowing all of these feelings to come up and work through them as they do. I know that may sound like a very negative and cynical view of relationships but that’s just the reality of life. Once you accept that throughout your life you’ll be in a few relationships that don’t work out, you can stop blaming yourself for what you might see as a “failure.” See, what we’re often so quick to write off as a “failed relationship” is actually a valuable life lesson if we stop to actually reflect on the relationship and learn from it. So rather than writing this off as just another failed relationship, reflect on what happened and learn from it.
Relationships have a way of affecting us on a very deep level, especially when we really love someone.
Start by making a list of the things you want to accomplish in life to remind yourself of where you want to go.
Once you start working towards your dreams again, you may realize how much you’ve lost by being in a codependent relationship. Even though everyone’s journey of getting over a break up is different, these 5 steps should be at the cornerstone of every break up recovery plan.
That is very true, people don’t change so if you notice something you dont like at the beginning of the relationship (drink, drugs, eye for other women, something major) i reckon its best to up leave straight away instead of going through the heartache of breaking up years into the relationship. So with all that blah blah blah, I’m simply saying (by pouring my heart out) that I understand and feel you.
My girlfriend cheated on me, yet I forgave her then broke up with me because she broke the guy who she cheated on me with’s heart, and I want to move on yet I love her so much and I wanna work things out please help me figure out wahat to do. I’m really sorry to hear about what happened but really happy to know that the first chapter of my book that I give away for free helped you. Hiya, I`vw just came across this site, married for 12 years to a compulsive gambler and took all the hurt this has caused over the years, just found out four weeks ago hes been cheating on me too, its so hurtful, i`m not going to accept this, the constant lies,lies, i feel so hurt that he has been seeing someone behind my back, i dont want to accept this behaviour and told him, i`m finished this time.  I feel so used and hurt how can he say he loves his family when he has lies, cheated and stole from us over the years.
Honey,I know go you feel I have been in a relationship in 2 years everything was going just fine now he will not talk to me he was the love of my life I would do anything for just give it some time this advice seems like it would work just think positive and don’t give up on love trust me someone is out there for you it might be him and it might just wait and see!! I dated a guy through most of my high school career and he was my first everything expect for sex. I am not one to tell anyone how to live their life but does this really sound like someone you want to build a life and a family with? I was in love with this guy for 6 years went through 2 deployments with him and he left me for a girl he got preganat in a one night stand. Were they reasons caused by your ill will or did the other person in the relationship not really hold up their end of the deal. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. You think about your ex all the time, but with all of that, deep inside you should understand that you’re ready to make an effort to move on, however hard or painful it might be to get over a break up.
At first, you might not want to talk about it with anyone, but talking with your friends would be the best bet for you if you want to come clean out of your past.
At first, it might seem stupid to find flaws with the one you’ve been in love with for so long. At first you might feel guilty or annoyed with yourself, but as time goes by, you would find solace within this corner of your heart that doesn’t miss your ex anymore. Everyone who has been in your place has felt the same emotions, however hard it might seem to you at present.

This is just a way by which your mind is letting go of the past, even before you consciously begin to put an effort into moving on.
The scar would burn at times and the flame of your past love might try to engulf you time and again. But unfortunately, many of us cling to this glorified image for too long and it actually ends up hurting us.
Even when the relationship is going downhill and you guys are constantly fighting and arguing, there’s a part of you that’s still holding on to the hope that maybe one day you guys will be able to get things back to the way that they were. One of the most common ways that we use hope to delude ourselves is by building up false hope. You try to convince yourself into thinking that the problems are just magically going to disappear on their own one day.
And yet you still continue to hold on to the hope that things are going to change, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It’s simply a defense mechanism that they develop in order to avoid the disappointment they feel when they try to work through their issues with their partner and end up getting nowhere. In order to avoid feeling all the negative unpleasant emotions, they just shut down completely.
You cling to your trusty friend called hope and you begin telling yourself that things are going to get better. There comes a time where you realize that you’re only hurting yourself even more by stubbornly holding on and trying to make fit.
The reason for this is because it’s going to be really hard for you to move on with your life when there’s a part of you that’s secretly thinking about getting back together.
By keeping the possibility of getting back together open, you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to truly move on with your life.
Reach out to them and tell them that you respect their decision, even though it’s not an easy one for you to come to terms with.
So if you’re serious about getting over your ex boyfriend, you have to be fierce about keeping any thoughts of you two getting back together from entering your mind. Now it’s time for you to let go of the relationship once and for all so that you can finally get over your ex boyfriend and move on with your life. I explained my problem to someone online and he suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring her back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 3pm. You helped me so much lately that I really wanted to express all the feelings I have since I met you. This relationship has left me emotionally abused, without any self respect and with a fear of trusting the wrong person that will take a while to get over.
The whole time he treated me bad and call me names and put me down, then he says I am insecure. I decided not to call him right away because I had a final exam in two days and I needed to concentrate on studying.
When I had no choice but to move away he wouldnt marry me as that was the only way I could stay in the country with him. At first everything felt dreamy and unbelievable, Their consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cos I had read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters, scams and i never really believed in magic. Your relationship is over, you feel heartbroken and you want something to make the pain go away. I know it’s not very comfortable but acknowledging the pain you’re in and working through it is one of the most important steps in healing a broken heart. This is an inevitable part of the dating process and if you’re able to accept it as just a natural part of dating, you will have a much easier time getting over a break up.
But even more importantly, we get a better sense of what we really want in a relationship and what we’re absolutely not willing to tolerate.
If you’re able to gain a greater sense of self-awareness from this relationship and move on with your life with a much better idea of what you really want, then this relationship was a success in its own right.
Chances are you were tolerating things that you shouldn’t have been tolerating in your relationship. You’ve probably forgotten how much you like making music, playing sports, or working out.
That way, you can still be happy with yourself even if one particular relationship doesn’t work out.
Its been 2months and I can’t sleep, eat, and find myself still wanting what I know was an unhealthy 3yr please!
When I confronted her she threw me out of the house and was sleeping with her boss within 2 weeks. I’m in the same exact boat as you with the gambling and the cheating amoung with numerous other issues.
My coping mechanisms, unfortunately, were so poor that I grew an unhealthy attraction to nasty substances to mask the hurt. It’s normal to feel that back and forth pull but you have to know when enough is enough. You can get hurt, but people die in plane crashes, lose their arms and legs in car accidents; people die every day.
Then he and I broke up because my friends were pressuring me cuz they realllllllllllly hated him and he thought that I was unfaithful.
And when did breaking up with someone because he was too in love with you ever become cool? You will have to understand that the memories of a passionate relationship will haunt you and consume you for some time. Understand that thinking about your ex is nothing to worry about, and prepare yourself to get over the break up and move into the next phase of your life, into greener pastures and sweet smelling flowers.
Sure, this may help you avoid feeling angry or disappointed but it also prevents you from feeling the joy, the love and the passion.
We realize that we’re about to lose everything we have and we have a hard time imagining what our life is going to be like without them. You get angry, frustrated and disappointed when it doesn’t fit and yet you keep trying, stubbornly holding onto the hope that one day it will. Now, waiting around for your ex for 3 years is a pretty extreme example but I get different variations of this email all the time. In fact, carrying around the hope of you two getting back together is one of the most dangerous mistakes you can make after a break up.
Make it clear that you’re moving on so that both of you know that what’s done is done and neither of you are secretly waiting around for one another.
Do whatever it takes to get yourself to accept that you two are done for good and nothing is ever going to change that.
Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there.
I really think we only lasted this long because the 1st year & ahalf we were deep in love. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home.
I played along with a little hope and faith and I was sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle, everything went to a whole new direction, it was and is amazing.
I understand what you’re going through and I know just how bad it feels so I decided to write an article and record a video that share 5 key tips for healing a broken heart. You may even find yourself having dreams about your ex and losing interest in activities that would normally excite you.
Sure, it may not be a success in the traditional sense – a marriage in which two people went on to live happily ever after – but it’s still a success because it taught you some very important lessons about yourself, relationships, and life in general.
If you’ve lost your job because of your relationship or your hours have gotten cut back, consider starting fresh and finding a career that truly inspires and fulfills you. Remember that nothing should have the power to take over your life and affect you like this.
Try to look at the fact that you now have another chance to find the one who would never do that to you. I also just want to forgive everything just so I could have him back but I know that it will be the same just harder from the last time.

He wouldn’t budge and he ended up finding other women to leech off of, always coming back to me to take what little dignity I had left.
Ive been married for almost 6 years, I have a 5 year old boy and I’m 7 monthts pregnant. Sometimes in our lives we are confronted with a huge problem, after giving a considerable length of time after breaking up, just when we think we are over someone we find ourselves feeling as though we can't make it without our ex lover.
I’ve had a few serious relationships and got over them quickly as i see myself as a strong person. I’m still n luv with him he was a rebound relationship I dnt always feel this way bout him but I feel as if um nt goin 2 b able 2 get over him.
First, we would text or email but while we did, I got rid of any items or trinkets from the past in my house. Yet, what I will remember from that fantastic experience you made me live with this spell, it s that you have always been a very kind and sincere person. I stayed in the relationship because of HOPE, because the first 2yrs he treate me like a queen, he was everything I ever wanted but I must admit I took him for granted, and that’s what makes this so hard. I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day.I hope they could help other people too like they did to me. Once you’re able to see these things, you can be grateful for what you learned rather than feeling bad about went wrong. Getting to know you and what you want for your future is crucial to getting over a breakup or divorce. Rediscover your inner strength and build yourself back up stronger than ever so that you never find yourself feeling so weak and helpless ever again.
I was in a relationship for about 8-9 years with a guy I poured my soul and eternal love into.
He ended up cheating on me which did not surprise me but this relationship still haunts me and I just want to move on its been a year now and Im tried of being resentful.
If he can’t do simple things like be faithful and not control his dicks impulses, how is he going to raise a child with you?
My husband went to an army class to a different state for 6 weeks and lots happened during that time…. How do you tell a person you love them no matter what when they refuse to try and find a solution? Yes it is true that at times people who we thought might never let us down, end up doing so, and sometimes those who we thought will love us and be there for us forever suddenly leave our lives.
In any case, you’re stuck feeling unhappy in the relationship and yet you continue to tolerate it because you’re too afraid to leave.
Most of all the thing she lost that was what I believe to be the greatest cost of all, the respect of her children and grandchildren.
Alot of people say your to young to understand what love feels like but i Really think that i do considering it’s been along time. Give yourself the permission to not know for now and trust that these experiences will reveal their true value to you down the line. One of the most powerful things you can learn in the process is yourself, which seems to be a foundation point of these 5 tips.
Shes nice enough b ut today was the day they were handing out candy canes you could but for people. The reason I am sharing this with you is two fold for one to write about it sometimes can help one deal with it.
Anyways i really do love her & no matter if we are broken up we always treat eachother Like boyfriend and girlfriend I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years , we broke up about 3 months ago. You remind me a lot of my grandmother who was counting me many stories about voodoo when I was young. Sure, the thought of him making love to another woman freaks me out but that issue is not mine to have had to handle. In the days before my ex called, I was doubting my decision to try to get him back, I was losing hope that the spell would work, and I was beginning to feel skeptical about the whole process. She never followed through with the plan and 6 months later was seeing him again behind my back.
Until I met a very good friend of my who was also having a similar problem, who introduced me to a very good love spell caster. This is simply your unconscious mind trying to process the loss and work through it on its own.
Then she was staying out till 5am while living under my roof and I told her she had to leave. There’s no way to wake up and be over him like April shared in the post above you but my book guides you through the process of getting over someone as quickly and easily as possible. And he seemed sooo sorry that I told me I was willing to make it work because I wanted of family to stay together….
I can feel all your spiritual goodness in all the emails you wrote, from the first day until now!
But i told her that if it has to do with things that i am not interested, but she said that it has nothing to do with pay first.
She got her own place and within a few weeks My son walked into her bedroom and found a different guy in her bed. It’s not a magic pill that will take all your pain away but it will certainly help you heal.
All I ever tied to do was prove my love to him, he treats me terribly but wont admit to it and I think that hurts a little more.
He blames me for this not working, but i was the one spending the money,buying him clothes and making sure he is OK, help him when ever he needed me, p.s.
When we broke up, I was devastated and went through many of the same emotions some of you may be experiencing, depression, despair, lack of appetite, et cetera. Today I found more things… He actually was having sexual conversations with 2 more girls and went to dinner with one of them and they kissed! He sent me an email, stating that he no longer wanted to be with me, as he does not love me anymore. I wake up knowing that there is someone for everyone and if not now i’ll find him someday.
I loved (and still love) my ex like I have never loved any man before, and when we broke up, I thought that there was no chance we would ever be together again because he was so convinced that we shouldn’t be dating, much less married.
Anyways i really do love her & no matter if we are broken up we always treat eachother Like boyfriend and girlfriend. When i contacted him, i was so surprise when he said that if i have the faith that i will get my husband back in the nest three [3] day, and off which it was really so. Even when we try to move on and get a rebound we still go around calling eachother babe, flirting, kissing and what not. With every girl before her I’ve only wanted their sex but with her I just want her love, i need too feel her touch and hear her voice.
Have hope, have faith, and find something to keep you busy when you start to obsess about your results. However If I was so doing well why do I wake in the morning and wonder several times a day why what the heck happened and why she flipped out. He just told me that he does not love me anymore, and for the past month he has been pretending to love me. Then apparently afterwards he went to one of our mutual friends, and said he was an idiot whilst crying. Thanks to every one who wrote about their results.Your entries gave me hope on my worst days. I even wanted too slap HER around , I’m a controlling boyfriend to her because what can i say the girl makes me jelouse. The nice family that we raised and the grandchildren we enjoyed has been shaken so hard my 13 years old granddaughter refuses to speak to her grandmother for the past 8 months and has un-friended her on face book.

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