But despite the fact that it is hardly vital cinema it is an OK film that manages to survive some deplorable Hollywood laziness and provide a non-Saw alternative to the 10-14s in the household. The tale of this well meaning yet clumsy and decidedly non kung-fu expert’s rise to the top is the stuff of every second kung fu film in the 70s to be honest. In this case the unwitting hero is pudgy Panda – voiced by pudgy Jack Black – in fact if you aren’t a Jack Black fan or simply can’t stomach his shtick move on, because his dialogue is infused with so many JB mannerisms and speech patterns that your feelings toward the man may dictate your enjoyment level. Panda is ordained as the Dragon Warrior in front of the resentful Furious 5 who have trained their entire lives for the very honour Panda accidentally falls into. They are voiced by an all star cast of unnecessary celebrity cameo cash-ins that smacks of free publicity, and I say that knowing full well Jackie Chan is among them.
The 5 are trained by Master Shi Fu (Dustin Hoffman), who I think is a possum or something??
The training sequences are a little flat to be honest, but contain enough moments of humour and pratfalls to keep the kids interested. Ultimately Kung Fu Panda wasn’t nearly as ‘awesome’ as it was promoted, but it definitely wasn’t bad either. First The Hangover, now Kung Fu Panda, two films that were sequellised after the originals were unexpectedly successful, with the sequels only greenlit once the former films made truckloads. Let me start out by saying that most of the charm in the original KFP was found in getting to know Po (Jack Black), Master Shifu and the Furious 5. Anyway this time we know all that, so all they have to ‘wow’ us is the action sequences and the plot. This time around Po is instructed by Master Shifu to find inner peace in order to save China from Shen (Gary Oldman), a naughty peacock banished from China as a… chick I guess – who dreams of taking over the country with his army of wolves and other nasty looking creatures through the introduction of weapons, with which he plans to kill kung-fu!
Meanwhile Po and the Furious 5 are now local legends and spend their days as peacekeepers in the area, defeating ne-er-do-wells with kung-fu skills and exceptional teamwork. In Kung Fu 2 Master Shifu takes a noticeable step into the background, appearing only a few times through the film, Tigress (Angelina Jolie) steps up to almost co-star duties, with her serious and determined ying counterpointing Po’s casual and carefree yang. Of course in between battles Po learns of his true origins alternately through interactions with Shen and the Soothsayer, and continues to search for his own inner peace deemed necessary to defeat his many feathered foe.
As with the original Kung Fu Panda the action sequences and growling menacing animals might prove a little much for the tots under say 7, but even though this was reasonably similar to the original film the action carries the bulk of Kung Fu 2, and the moving sequence that ends the film will leave you heading home with a warmer feeling than perhaps the slightly hackneyed story deserves. While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. If you are wondering why the shampoo is called purple, it is primarily because this hair care product is basically purple in color. Tip #1: It is important that you give your hair a hot-waterrinse before applying the shampoo.
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It doesn’t lean too heavily on the morals, thankfully eschews the usual pop culture references and disposable pop songs that hopelessly date the movie only years afterward, and definitely doesn’t take itself too seriously. I would pigeonhole it as ‘reasonably family friendly light entertainment’ and nothing more.
The Furious 5 are a group of highly trained martial arts experts of various breeds; a tiger, a monkey, a crane, a praying mantis and a snake (the names of various fighting styles). Nonetheless he is a master teacher, and upon finding he must train Panda to become the Dragon Warrior and defend the entire village of random rabbits, ducks and pigs he is immediately aghast and feels dishonoured, though he is gradually talked around by his own master, an elderly turtle named Master Ugwei.
I liked Panda’s Dad – who is a duck – and his constant references to the ‘noodle dream’ amused me for no known reason.
A solid animated film for kids aged (maybe) 9 and up, with enough jokes for the adults and kids alike, and some unthreatening action to inspire the kids to go home and kick piss out of their younger siblings. The plot was fairly unspectacular and served only to pad the gaps between the action sequences.
We know that he coincidentally was nominated by an elderly short sighted turtle to be trained by a surly possum named Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) alongside a praying mantis, snake, crane, tiger and monkey to become the Dragon Warrior, saving China from danger. The action sequences are effective and occasionally as awe-inspiring as the posters demand we must find them. Shen is particularly concerned that the Soothsayer (Michelle Yeoh) has foretold Shen’s death at the hand of a black and white entity – gee wonder who that might be? In a convenient revelation just before Po heads off to save the day he finds that his Father the goose is actually perhaps not his real Father after all… who woulda thunk it?


The rest of the Furious 5 retain their famous voices but are consigned to being mere comic relief and being momentarily spotlighted in the frequent battles that dominate the second half of the film.
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For upscale daytime wear or fancy dance denims, you can't do better than Cowgirl Up's Midnight jeans. The 5 are also resentful of this unskilled interloper and generally make no secret of this fact, especially the tigress who felt that it was she who would be named Dragon Warrior. Most of all I liked a sequence in the middle of the film where the main nemesis for Panda is introduced, a fearsome creature named Tai-Lung. The plot is actually pretty thin and derivative, and is actually where Kung Fu Panda comes perilously close to Kung Phooey.
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The super dark hue comes from an overdyed black wash, allowing the lustrous stitching and rhinestone pocket accents to really shine. This in turn removes the yellow and red undertones and makes the blue undertone higher, thereby refreshing your blonde hair to a brighter and beautiful hair color. This is also perhaps the main impediment to the littlies liking the film, as Tai-Lung is so well rendered and so effective a foe, that I think it might put the fear of god into any kids under say 8 or 9, which is a bit of a shame, as three quarters of the film is perfect for all ages.



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