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Making the decision to be more aware of my use of language has given me the opportunity to look at what I say to myself.
My wonky Explorer insists that I always act like an adult because it believes mature human beings aren’t supposed to play. My wonky Artist is the soft voice in my head that keeps me from meeting my potential or following my yearnings by comparing my abilities to that of experts, by making me hesitate to take action, or by declaring that I can’t start something because I don’t already know everything I need to.
My wonky Judge urges me to steer away from uncertainty, to consider only clear, black-and-white answers to challenges, and to avoid any type of risk, no matter what. One question has proved to be particularly helpful to me when wonky thoughts dominate my mind. Recently a friend mentioned that her Judge’s wonky voice seemed to be the loudest in her head. Another woman was amazed when she learned that wonky statements are common in most everyone’s self-talk. Because our self-talk is in our thoughts and thoughts are based on the words we choose, we each have the power to change what the voice says to us. This entry was posted in 5 Aspects of Self, Language, Writing from Barbara and tagged Artist, Champion, excuses, Explorer, fear, Five aspects, Guardian, Judge, self-talk, word choice on September 10, 2014 by admin.

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Self-talk, or as Arianna Huffington refers to it, “that obnoxious roommate in my head,” is often limiting, negative, and based on information from experiences that have been frozen in time. It can show up anytime but is more likely to surface when life throws us a curve ball, when what happens is not what we want or expect, or when we feel confused or uncomfortable.
It cautions me to keep my curiosity at bay and tells me to live by the shoulds and routines of life, allowing no time or permission for play, wonder, or even exploring the unfamiliar. And my wonky Champion can easily become resigned to believing there isn’t a way to accomplish something I really want to do, saying “This is just too hard. I stop and ask, “Is that true?” I’ve discovered that when I say, “I can’t do ___ because of ___,” or “I don’t do ___ because of ___,” very often the real message is, “I won’t.” That wonky inner voice is actually my avoidance and excuse file in disguise. If I say, “I am a procrastinator,” I can respond with, “That used to be true but, does it need to be true now?” Or when I declare, “I never follow through,” I can see that I actually can follow through right now if I choose to. As she put it, “My wonky Judge is exhausted.” To begin shifting that inner-space self-talk from wonky to inspired, she now chooses to speak aloud and use the voice of her inspired Judge and Champion when she attempts a task.
Whenever she would forget to do something or somehow drop the ball, she heard the voice of her mother saying, “You are so spacey and scatterbrained.” For years she believed this about herself, spiraling downward into self-doubt each time she heard it.

When we shift the self-talk in our inner space from limiting thoughts to a kind, compassionate voice that inspires and encourages us, we open ourselves up to worlds of possibility. If one excuse doesn’t work, the wonky Guardian can come up with five more reasons to live in fear, clinging to old stories or exaggerated risks. Verbalizing it out loud, putting an inspired voice into the space that surrounds her, seems to make a big difference in silencing the “obnoxious roommate” in her head. On realizing that the source of those thoughts dated back to her childhood, she decided to no longer believe the idea or give it any power. If I know that much of my self-talk is wonky, and I know I don’t want it to rule my life anymore, I need to come up with ideas of how to change my inner dialogue.

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